(no subject)

[plural]

just checked my voicemail for the first time in a week
last night my ex called me she sounded strange
like she was making great effort to sound casual and failing

she inquired how I was and asked me to give her a call sometime so we could chat

cant say the idea appeals much to me

herein lies the problem

I have a strong belief about treating people with basic human dignity
regardless of any past between us while I fail frequently to uphold
this standard it is something I strive for.

I strive not to play games with people to let them always know
exactly where they stand with me this must be balanced
with the understanding that one should not be unnecessarily cruel

if you call me, no matter how much I despise you I will call you back
at the very least to hear what you have to say and say no, please don't call me again

If I say I will call you ...I will period.

and lastly an oath I made once
a long time ago not to her specifically
but in general to any woman
who manages to put up with me

any of my ex's who finds themselves in trouble
which they can not deal can call me and I will ensure
the safe resolution to the best of my ability

of course with the exception of one woman before her
this was never an issue as I am on friendly terms with all of my ex's

something didn't sound right in her voice, call me selfish
but I would rather not know what

anyone care to share some wisdom with me?

Comments

[shudder2think.livejournal.com]

ok here is all that i have to say...
i am the same way when it comes to phone calls
if someone calls me i will always call them back.
but i feel that some people don't deserve it. my boyfriend was with a girl and they were always fighting after they broke up. still friends with benefits but they were always arguing. so then she tells him, i need to see you more if we're going to stay friends, this isn't enough. and he says ok and talks to her more, and gives her all he thinks she needs, but she keeps demanding this of him. so he meets me and she does it again, and he says, you know what, we're not good friends to each other. we shouldn't be friends, you're right. he ends talking to her but she talks bad about him this summer a lot and he hears about it. so not long ago she emails him telling him she wants to know how he is. she says she's not sorry for anything she did, but she wants to know how he is because she once loved him and they shouldn't not be in touch. he didn't email her back. do you think that was right of him? i don't know...i have never done that, had someone call me and not call them back, but i was never in that situation. so i don't know...i don't think it is wrong for you to not want to know what she has to say. i think it's up to you, and how you feel..if that makes sense? go with your heart, and do whatever you think is right. anyway, sorry that was so long. i wish you good luck.

Re:

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

In your boyfriend's case and not returning her email, I think he definitely did the right thing. The girl sounds like an emotional whirlpool, someone who will constantly drag him into her mess as long as he lets her. And I don't think trying to cut the friendship off to her face would do it. Eventually, she'd come back... phonecalls, visits, maybe an email... (like she did).

No, sometimes for your own sanity and mental well-being, you have to do what you have to do. This was one of those times, and I think he did what was best for all of you involved.

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're being selfish at all. She's your ex, which means you don't owe her anything. If your ex and you had a child, and that child needed something, yes, you would owe it to the child to try to help. If you want to consider someone who lives with basic human dignity and compassion, then you owe it to your values to help when you can. But you don't owe the ex anything, especially not a shoulder during their emotional problems...

Plus, if she does need your help, she should have said that in the message. Otherwise, it's playing games, and you don't owe it to anyone to have to partake in those.

wisdom from gnomes

[plural.livejournal.com]

as usuall
my dear nikki
you are correct

I am aware that I owe her nothing, although she seems to feel quite differently, and I surely agree that I should not be the one to help shoulder any relationship problems she is having, and while I agree lastly that if she needed help, she should have said so, I also know how hard pride can make things sometimes especially when leaving messages. Were things reversed, and I needed help, I doubt my pride would let me say so in a voicemail, it would be much easier to ease into it during a conversation.

at the moment, I am thinking I will wait atleast until the end of the week to return her call...
if at all.

glad I could offer something. :)

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

Good plan.

[puissance.livejournal.com]

i think you're a
perfect
gentleman, plural.

the devil is in the details

[plural.livejournal.com]

a perfect gentleman?

I am most flattered

and quite frankly
I do not believe
anyone
who has read my journal
or known an equivelent amount about me
has ever titled me so

as such
it means only the more to me

for I aspire
to be exactly that

I admire your resolve..

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

I finally have come back to my journal after avoiding it for a while - and reading this.. found I wanted to say something, but did not know what to say. After doing my usual nightly activities - I came across the words that describe best what I was meaning for you to hear when you asked for a response. As always, you are going to make the best choice for you.

"None of us can decide not to be in a relationship. Try not being in a relationship with your breath! Life is about relationship. We're going to be in relationship anyway so our task is to learn how to experience a deeper, more profound meaning in the relationships that we
are in, the greatest of which is our relationship with God."

Take care my snow biffing friend.