(no subject)

[plural]

just checked my voicemail for the first time in a week
last night my ex called me she sounded strange
like she was making great effort to sound casual and failing

she inquired how I was and asked me to give her a call sometime so we could chat

cant say the idea appeals much to me

herein lies the problem

I have a strong belief about treating people with basic human dignity
regardless of any past between us while I fail frequently to uphold
this standard it is something I strive for.

I strive not to play games with people to let them always know
exactly where they stand with me this must be balanced
with the understanding that one should not be unnecessarily cruel

if you call me, no matter how much I despise you I will call you back
at the very least to hear what you have to say and say no, please don't call me again

If I say I will call you ...I will period.

and lastly an oath I made once
a long time ago not to her specifically
but in general to any woman
who manages to put up with me

any of my ex's who finds themselves in trouble
which they can not deal can call me and I will ensure
the safe resolution to the best of my ability

of course with the exception of one woman before her
this was never an issue as I am on friendly terms with all of my ex's

something didn't sound right in her voice, call me selfish
but I would rather not know what

anyone care to share some wisdom with me?

Comments

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're being selfish at all. She's your ex, which means you don't owe her anything. If your ex and you had a child, and that child needed something, yes, you would owe it to the child to try to help. If you want to consider someone who lives with basic human dignity and compassion, then you owe it to your values to help when you can. But you don't owe the ex anything, especially not a shoulder during their emotional problems...

Plus, if she does need your help, she should have said that in the message. Otherwise, it's playing games, and you don't owe it to anyone to have to partake in those.

wisdom from gnomes

[plural.livejournal.com]

as usuall
my dear nikki
you are correct

I am aware that I owe her nothing, although she seems to feel quite differently, and I surely agree that I should not be the one to help shoulder any relationship problems she is having, and while I agree lastly that if she needed help, she should have said so, I also know how hard pride can make things sometimes especially when leaving messages. Were things reversed, and I needed help, I doubt my pride would let me say so in a voicemail, it would be much easier to ease into it during a conversation.

at the moment, I am thinking I will wait atleast until the end of the week to return her call...
if at all.

glad I could offer something. :)

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

Good plan.