Truth about people?

[plural]

Can people change?

or more importantly

Can I?

some of you here
have known me for three years
a few even longer than that
and
many for varying periods shorter

some of you know me quite intimately
some casually

so I ask you

I know I have learned an incredible amount
about myself and how I interact with the world
in that time
but
has anything really changed?

am I the same arrogant foppish bastard
I have always been?

have you observed growth or decline in my person?

or is it just the same old shit
day after day

how many of you consider me a friend
versus a source of entertaining banter
or even both

What would be the one change you think I need to make most?


shoot from the hip
compliments and bullshit not requested
and
don't worry
the meaner you are
the more straight forward you are
the
more I will
appreciate it

cause if there is one thing I have learned

it takes guts to be a complete bastard

but in case some of you lack it
I have turned on anonymous comments
[and turned off IP tracking]
for this post
*grin*

anyway
I gotta run
but I was pondering this as I got ready tonight
and thought I would fire off a quick post

love love

me

Comments

[lamotocyclette.livejournal.com]

You know I love you just the way you are.
Of course I consider you a friend.
So much so, that if I had one thing to change about you it would be that you worried less about being entertaining, and more about just being you.

[delphaicdragon.livejournal.com]

I haven't been here for very long. But I do know I'd like to get to know you better. I find you interesting. I'd like to find you in chat someday so I /can/ get to know you. :)

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

you need to ask?

friend, definately.

As for change.

Without question.

Consider the first critism I made, what three years ago... you put forth far and away a different personae here, now than then. If this medium is even a moderate distortion of reality, what I have experienced of you in real life is a complete change from you then.

Plus, you've inspired a sermon in H everytime you come... that's no small feat for a Jew.

-pb

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

Yes. Peaple can change. and you have. I see a difference and am only more pleased in a "watching out for you," maternalistic way. And I have been here for most of the three years now.

I consider you a friend.. in a very odd way. Perhaps more that I want to be your friend and attempt to be your friend, but you do not need what I offer. I enjoyed that brief portion of time when we discoursed most every day and you always had a word that turned my attention from the problems to the goal.

My own self esteem converts the statement above into that I, as a person, must not mete out high enough on a list for you to consider spending time being as a friend to me.. or, conversely, that I am not pert, young, or available.. so you are not interested (a statement on your ethics - not on my personal esteem).

I think the greatest challenge in life for you will to be allow yourself to fall in love, a sharing of yourself wholly type love. Or perhaps something not quite as difficult as that - to simply embrace the other dreams of a family - and being a family man.

I worry that if you do not accept or truly pursue it soon than it will never come. And I think that will be a shame.

If you remain as you are now.. on a path as a chasimatic, generous, opinionated and unattached bastich - without making a step like that onto an alternative path (a path that forces you to undertake some deeper responsibilities and personal sacrifices and form more clearly the images of success you will surround yourself with; be that children or your brain child projects) - you will remain valuable as a family member and friend to all of those you love, though I worry that wihout further challenge to your soul you will face these same demons again and again until you have hollowed out your soul to be a brittle shell.

One of the things I am most impressed to see in you the past years is the relative Peace you have once again made with your Creator.

Have a good evening out.. thank you for providing a place for me to say what I had been thinking.

[nandan.livejournal.com]

Truth...to paraphrase Jack Nickolson...I can't handle the truth.

Okay. I think I consider you a friend, although I suspect you wouldn't think much of me if we met. I suspect that you only like very pretty women, and I would not meet your criterion. Such is the way of the world. At times I perceive a gentle, open and generous person, but one who is masculine, intelligent, and has wide experience of the world. Those are all attractive attributes to me in a friend.

I also sense that there is something you are holding back. You are cryptic, at times, which is more than understandable in a public internet diary. Sometimes I think I can guess what may be behind the cryptic nature of your entries, but of course, this is the internet, so I am most likely wrong.

As for growth...I haven't known you long enough to see any change. Perhaps there is growing despair about your ability to order your life (wife, job, kids) to your satisfaction.

[sickboy.livejournal.com]

I've known you for quite some time. I always kind of admired you. I like you and although I think we are very different I think we'd get along really well. I'd say that if you wanted to change anything, change anything that might bother you. I don't really see a need for anything to change.

Cheers!

[ravengirl.livejournal.com]

we change all the time
whether we want to or not
it's inevitable
it's good
and it's bad~
you are growing and changing too
because that is a human's nature~
*love*

ramble on.

[quel.livejournal.com]

People can change. You can change, if you want to.

We've never interacted much, but I've always enjoyed your journal. You're witty, intelligent, candid, and very introspective. I don't know you as well as most on this list, but I've read your journal for over a year now, and that's my perception. I don't often comment, but I read all your entries. You don't know me very well, since I rarely update with anything of consequence myself.

At any rate, I don't see you as cryptic, really, but that could be more to do with me than you. I think that the arrogance seems to be hyperbole. I don't suspect that you're actually that way in person, having read so much about your values, commitment to friends and family. You seem to be very a very empathetic person. And as someone that's guarded and extremely paranoid about the internet myself, I admire that you put so much out there.

[damion.livejournal.com]

Mmh.
    The biggest, and most often recurring, problem that I've seen is the cognitive dissonance between the person you perceive yourself to be, and the person you think you have a duty to be. While that may be kind of obvious, I've never really understood why you feel that huge obligation sitting on your shoulders. If I remember correctly, you've talked about how your grandfather ran the family and kept it together, and that it's your goal to do the same. But does the family really need that?
    So, though it seems somewhat ironic, I'd say that the thing you need to change most about yourself is that you need to live for yourself and be honest about it.
    As for how much you've changed, from my perspective, it's been the same old shit. The shit, however, is gold.