Define Pain

What does pain mean to you?

What is
the most pain
you have ever
felt
physically
in your life?

(no subject)

Bubba and Earl,
were driving down the road
drinking a couple of beers.

Bubba says
"Lookey thar up ahead,
Earl, it's a po-lice roadblock!
We're gonna get busted
fer drinkin' these here beers!"

"Don't worry, Bubba,"
Earl said.
"We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers,
peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads,
and throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?"
asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers,
threw the empty bottles under the seat,
and each put a label on their forehead.

When they reached the roadblock,
the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"

"No sir," Earl said.

"We're on the patch."

close to home

A couple had two little boys,
who were excessively mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble
and their parents knew that,
if any mischief occurred in their town,
their sons were probably involved.
They boys' mother heard that a clergyman
in town had been successful in disciplining children,
so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the younger first the next morning,
with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman,
a huge man with a booming voice,
at the younger boy down and asked him sternly,

"Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open,
but he made no response,
sitting there with his mouth
hanging open, wide-eyed.
So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone,

"Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer.
So the clergyman raised his voice even more
and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,

"WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room,
ran directly home and dove into his closet,
slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet,
he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother,
gasping for breath,
replied,

"We are in BIG trouble this time, dude.

God is missing--and they think WE did it!"

a social experiment

follow the instructions below
first click

"comment on this"

do not click "read comments"

then proceed to apply whatever punctuation
you believe is necessary to
the following sentence,

"Woman without her man is nothing"

post your reply
and continue
on with your life

thank you
for your
cooperation

blasphemous rumors

An explorer
in the deep Amazon jungle
suddenly finds himself surrounded
by a bloodthirsty group of natives.

Upon surveying the situation,
he says quietly to himself,
"Oh God, I'm screwed."

The sky darkens and a voice booms out,
"No, you are NOT screwed.
Pick up that stone at your feet
and bash in the head of the chief
standing in front of you."

So with the stone
he bashes the life out of the chief.
Standing above the lifeless body,
breathing heavily
looking at 100 angry natives.

The voice booms out again,

"Okay...NOW you're screwed."