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Apr. 26th, 2001
(no subject)
Apr. 26th, 2001 03:03 pmA group of managers
were given the assignment
to measure the height of a flagpole.
So they go out to the flagpole
with ladders and tape measures,
and they're falling off the ladders,
dropping the tape measures
the whole thing is just a mess.
An engineer comes along
and sees what they're trying to do,
walks over, pulls the flagpole
out of the ground,
lays it flat,
measures it from end to end,
gives the measurement to one of the managers
and walks away.
After the engineer has gone,
one manager turns to another and laughs.
"Isn't that just like an engineer,
we're looking for the height
and he gives us the length."
were given the assignment
to measure the height of a flagpole.
So they go out to the flagpole
with ladders and tape measures,
and they're falling off the ladders,
dropping the tape measures
the whole thing is just a mess.
An engineer comes along
and sees what they're trying to do,
walks over, pulls the flagpole
out of the ground,
lays it flat,
measures it from end to end,
gives the measurement to one of the managers
and walks away.
After the engineer has gone,
one manager turns to another and laughs.
"Isn't that just like an engineer,
we're looking for the height
and he gives us the length."
(no subject)
Apr. 26th, 2001 03:04 pmThe phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom.
He is hiding drugs in his firewood."
"This will be noted."
Next day,
the FBI comes over to Tom's house.
They search the shed
where the firewood is kept,
break every piece of wood,
find no marijuana,
swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom's house.
"Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yeah they did."
"Okay,
now it's your turn to call.
I need my garden plowed."
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom.
He is hiding drugs in his firewood."
"This will be noted."
Next day,
the FBI comes over to Tom's house.
They search the shed
where the firewood is kept,
break every piece of wood,
find no marijuana,
swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom's house.
"Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yeah they did."
"Okay,
now it's your turn to call.
I need my garden plowed."
(no subject)
Apr. 26th, 2001 03:04 pmWhat's the difference between
a Rottweiler
and
a Jewish mother?
Eventually,
even a Rottweiler
has to let go.
a Rottweiler
and
a Jewish mother?
Eventually,
even a Rottweiler
has to let go.
(no subject)
Apr. 26th, 2001 03:07 pmJohn asks his wife,
Mary what she wants
to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
"Would you like a new mink coat?"
he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?"
says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?"
he suggests.
She again rejects his offer,
"No, thanks."
"Well, then, what would you like for your anniversary?"
John asks.
"John, I'd like a divorce,"
answers Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much,"
says John.
Mary what she wants
to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
"Would you like a new mink coat?"
he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?"
says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?"
he suggests.
She again rejects his offer,
"No, thanks."
"Well, then, what would you like for your anniversary?"
John asks.
"John, I'd like a divorce,"
answers Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much,"
says John.