blasphemous rumors

[plural]

An explorer
in the deep Amazon jungle
suddenly finds himself surrounded
by a bloodthirsty group of natives.

Upon surveying the situation,
he says quietly to himself,
"Oh God, I'm screwed."

The sky darkens and a voice booms out,
"No, you are NOT screwed.
Pick up that stone at your feet
and bash in the head of the chief
standing in front of you."

So with the stone
he bashes the life out of the chief.
Standing above the lifeless body,
breathing heavily
looking at 100 angry natives.

The voice booms out again,

"Okay...NOW you're screwed."