plural

this is a commentary/response to this post by Savonarola

For the Record

I don't wash floors
I don't do windows
I don't scrub toilets

Why? three reasons,

1) because I hate it

2) because to take Girolamo a step further,
chemical fumes make me sick, like vomiting
sick, pale face, cold sweat sick.

3) most importantly, I have woman to do
all of that stuff for me.

Now calm down
I can hear your jabbering already.

My wife, isn't going
to do any of that stuff either,
unless she gets some wicked
desire at 3 am to scrub something
(don't look at me funny, I have seen
it happen with more than one female)

The woman is my maid, and you know what,
I wouldn't hire a male maid either.
Why?
Simple,
I remember as a child, before my mom started using Carmen
(who incidentally is my maid as well)
the special joys of a mommy made bed.

The is something special about the way mommies make beds,
with love and stuff, that men just cant do.
I can make a bed tight enough to bounce a quarter,
but I cant duplicate the effect

so not only would I not hire a man as a maid
I wouldn't hire a young woman either
well
unless she looked really good in that
french maids outfit ... nevermind
we can talk about that another time

But there is something which
my dear Savonarola said
that I must address

The reward system idea
or bargaining for sex
specifically oral sex

Sex is not a bartering chip
a tool for my partner
to get me to obey her will

Of course there are several ways
women use sex against men

There is the sex for material gain: "honey I really want this pearl necklace" *battbattbatt*
the underlying message is, if you buy it for me, you will get lots of sex
This is a cute and endearing form of prostitution, which is all good with me.

Then is sex for attention: "honey you sure you are really too busy for this"
the underlying message, if you pay attention to me, I will fuck you.
Also cute and endearing, reminds you of that girl in high school with the glasses who .....
This has been very pleasurable in my life, but I think as I have written elsewhere that
it is a poor choice of tactics on the part of the female, in trying to get her needs met.
(do not confuse this with the simple come fuck me assertive woman stance)

Finally sex as blackmail:
This would be a either you do this or you don't get no sex ever.
I will start with the exceptions, when it comes to infidelities and things
of that nature which directly related to sex and therefore sexually
separating yourselves is a logical step
otherwise this is bullshit behavior and any woman who does it
is fucked up in my opinion, for one thing
have some self fucking respect
is your pussy the only thing that makes you
worth listening to? that is what you are saying
when you pull stunts like this

Be a woman and say
"Wait, you are not listening, This is
really important to me, and you need
to hear me out."

(for all you who are going say
"oh tried that and didn't work"
then you have a problem
in the relationship and should seek therapy,
passive aggressive behavior, such as
withholding sex is only going to fuck up
your relationship even worse)

Women should no more have to use sex
to get what they want, than men should
have to bargain to get sex.

In a relationship but especially in a marriage
two people agree to do the necessary things
to meet our partners emotional and physical needs
even if it isn't the most convenient

I sure as hell don't want to watch
Titanic for the 32nd time with her
but if it is on her list of emotional needs
to have someone to watch that crap with.

I will do it, happily
because it makes me happy
to make her happy.

Having sex with my partner
sits pretty damn high on my list
of physical and emotional needs

I expect oral sex every damn day
none of this once or twice a week crap

Sex too, I expect sex every day
would prefer twice a day (morning and night)
but I can be flexible and considerate

Of course
I am sure that many
of you are looking at
me like I am a raving fool

which is probably true
but I am smiling from ear to ear