Fact and Fiction
Jan. 25th, 2005 06:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pluralok so before I give yall the results
lemme just say
that two of you need to return to kindergarten
and learn how to count to three again
and
If you haven't taken the poll you can click here and take it before viewing the results if you wish.
The percentage of people who selected each answer is in italics after the answer
I've had sex with an inappropriately shaved llama (91.7%)
False - I only sleep with appropriately shaved llamas. What do you think I am, some kind of pervert?
I was born in a barn loft (16.7%)
True - I was in fact born in a barn loft, on a lesbian commune named "Dragon Wagon Farm" near Ava, Missouri, and no, I never close doors behind me either.
I despise marmots (13.9%)
False - However as someone pointed out to me, I have in the past claimed to despise Groundhogs, Gophers and all of their relatives, and marmots would indeed fall into that category. So I will give a half point to those who selected this option cause it was my bad.
I am completely inept with a jump rope (13.9%)
True - To my everloving shame, I have never managed the use of a jump rope without finding myself tied up in a ball or nearly strangled.
I once lit my cock on fire for an art project (50.0%)
True - This was a popular one for yall, and an amusing tale indeed. A friend of mine, and without question the most brilliant artist I have ever had the privilege to call friend, approached me with a proposition for a photo shoot he wanted to do.
The intended shot was of me, standing naked, in a conquering pose. He worked the lighting so that the middle of me was illuminated while my face was obscured by shadow. In the foreground, a naked woman with amazingly crafted wings (like an angel would have, he apparently spent several hours making them and doing her make up so they looked nearly natural) was kneeling before me, worshipping my flaming erection.
While I had to admit the shoot sounded fascinating, I was balking at the idea of mixing fire and my penis, however he assured me it would be entirely safe, and we even got a mutual friend who was practiced in self-immolation (not to mention one of the head guys for fire safety at burning man for a couple of years) to come in and make sure I wasn't going to end up with crispy jewels. We ran a couple of test runs on my arms and legs, which consisted of applying some clear gel, as a fire retardant, with a layer of an alcohol based gel over that which was then set on fire. After about thirty seconds it would start getting hot, but other than a slight redness didn't cause any damage, so I agreed to give it a go on the holy of holies. It freaked me out the first time, and my erection went instantly limp at the sight of the flames as I sort of wigged, but once I was put out and ensured there was no damage, I was ready to try the shoot. Of course, in the shoot it wasn't all that difficult to keep it up, what with a naked lovely kneeling in front of me. Actually it was quite a rush, there was a feeling of potency and immortality that came from looking into a womans eyes as she worshipped my flaming cock.
The actual shoot took about an hour, once we were set up, as we would light me up, shoot a few frames, douse me out, clean up and reapply before repeating the process. Unfortunately the fire didn't come out in the photos, and the project was scrapped. I inquired much later about getting a copy of the photos from the shoot or borrowing the negatives to scan and he said they were in a box somewhere and would look for them, but I forgot to follow up about it. Of course now that I have thought about this again (for the first time in a few years) I'll have to give him a call and see if he can find them, cause with photoshop and whatnot now, I bet the flame could easily be recreated and that would be pretty neat.
Of course, that wouldn't much help yall cause even though I might be willing to show a print to some of you, I sure as hell would never post a copy to the internet, where distribution would be out of my immediate control.
I killed a man when I was seventeen (44.4%)
True - Although I wish it was not. It was Halloween night of my junior year, (October 31, 1992.) and something I am not sure I will ever get over, let alone forget.
I have my left nipple pierced (13.9%)
True - I got it pierced ten years ago when I was 19.
I once got into a physical fight with Kurt Cobain (55.6%)
True - Although like the marmot, I got called out on this one. We'll call it poor phrasing. As I suppose it would have been better termed "a confrontation". So as before, I will be awarding half points for those of you who selected this answer.
When I was in high school, a friend of mine lived next door to him in west Seattle. One afternoon I had a confrontation with Cobain while cutting across the corner of his front yard while heading to my friends backyard. A prank with a can of paint and one of those big ass water balloon catapults later and he was screaming obscenities at me/us. So I went over totaunt talk to him, and things escalated so he took a swing at me.
I studied ballet as a child
True - although none of you got suckered by that one
I received a blow job from a french girl in the Vatican(11.1%)
False - But not for lack of trying, unfortunately the female most available for such things at the time was a french-Canadian catholic girl, and while she was a most willing and adventurous companion in many ways, that struck her as going too far over the line.
Scoring:
The winner is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kikamer with 2.5 points.
As promised you may sleep withmoderndayknight's fiancee whenever it is convenient for you to do so, I suggest you contact him directly to make arrangements. [and whatever he might say, it is entirely your choice whether you let him join in]
Second place is a tie at 2 points each:
damion & spikenheimer
Third place is a whole bunch of you all sharing 1.5 points:
[listed alphabetically]
_sacchi, darwinpolice, folterte, geektress, girl_on_a_stick, ignote, jennrh , jmichiko, lima_pcp, maryshelley, saveyoursanity, silentounce, sonicblue, the_anomalist, thoughtgolem, whatdot.
Fourth place with 1 point is shared by:
[again alphabetically]
acadiabaird, atillathehung, azul, campellconey, gryphon, hurricane_amy, jami, ludimagist, majorweather, nova_starr, resilience, spldbrat, supersoaker, zaiah.
And bringing up the rear with half a point scored is:
pr1ss
Shameful mention is of course reserved for:
hellarad & moderndayknight neither of whom was able to successfully count to three
lemme just say
that two of you need to return to kindergarten
and learn how to count to three again
and
If you haven't taken the poll you can click here and take it before viewing the results if you wish.
The percentage of people who selected each answer is in italics after the answer
I've had sex with an inappropriately shaved llama (91.7%)
False - I only sleep with appropriately shaved llamas. What do you think I am, some kind of pervert?
I was born in a barn loft (16.7%)
True - I was in fact born in a barn loft, on a lesbian commune named "Dragon Wagon Farm" near Ava, Missouri, and no, I never close doors behind me either.
I despise marmots (13.9%)
False - However as someone pointed out to me, I have in the past claimed to despise Groundhogs, Gophers and all of their relatives, and marmots would indeed fall into that category. So I will give a half point to those who selected this option cause it was my bad.
I am completely inept with a jump rope (13.9%)
True - To my everloving shame, I have never managed the use of a jump rope without finding myself tied up in a ball or nearly strangled.
I once lit my cock on fire for an art project (50.0%)
True - This was a popular one for yall, and an amusing tale indeed. A friend of mine, and without question the most brilliant artist I have ever had the privilege to call friend, approached me with a proposition for a photo shoot he wanted to do.
The intended shot was of me, standing naked, in a conquering pose. He worked the lighting so that the middle of me was illuminated while my face was obscured by shadow. In the foreground, a naked woman with amazingly crafted wings (like an angel would have, he apparently spent several hours making them and doing her make up so they looked nearly natural) was kneeling before me, worshipping my flaming erection.
While I had to admit the shoot sounded fascinating, I was balking at the idea of mixing fire and my penis, however he assured me it would be entirely safe, and we even got a mutual friend who was practiced in self-immolation (not to mention one of the head guys for fire safety at burning man for a couple of years) to come in and make sure I wasn't going to end up with crispy jewels. We ran a couple of test runs on my arms and legs, which consisted of applying some clear gel, as a fire retardant, with a layer of an alcohol based gel over that which was then set on fire. After about thirty seconds it would start getting hot, but other than a slight redness didn't cause any damage, so I agreed to give it a go on the holy of holies. It freaked me out the first time, and my erection went instantly limp at the sight of the flames as I sort of wigged, but once I was put out and ensured there was no damage, I was ready to try the shoot. Of course, in the shoot it wasn't all that difficult to keep it up, what with a naked lovely kneeling in front of me. Actually it was quite a rush, there was a feeling of potency and immortality that came from looking into a womans eyes as she worshipped my flaming cock.
The actual shoot took about an hour, once we were set up, as we would light me up, shoot a few frames, douse me out, clean up and reapply before repeating the process. Unfortunately the fire didn't come out in the photos, and the project was scrapped. I inquired much later about getting a copy of the photos from the shoot or borrowing the negatives to scan and he said they were in a box somewhere and would look for them, but I forgot to follow up about it. Of course now that I have thought about this again (for the first time in a few years) I'll have to give him a call and see if he can find them, cause with photoshop and whatnot now, I bet the flame could easily be recreated and that would be pretty neat.
Of course, that wouldn't much help yall cause even though I might be willing to show a print to some of you, I sure as hell would never post a copy to the internet, where distribution would be out of my immediate control.
I killed a man when I was seventeen (44.4%)
True - Although I wish it was not. It was Halloween night of my junior year, (October 31, 1992.) and something I am not sure I will ever get over, let alone forget.
I have my left nipple pierced (13.9%)
True - I got it pierced ten years ago when I was 19.
I once got into a physical fight with Kurt Cobain (55.6%)
True - Although like the marmot, I got called out on this one. We'll call it poor phrasing. As I suppose it would have been better termed "a confrontation". So as before, I will be awarding half points for those of you who selected this answer.
When I was in high school, a friend of mine lived next door to him in west Seattle. One afternoon I had a confrontation with Cobain while cutting across the corner of his front yard while heading to my friends backyard. A prank with a can of paint and one of those big ass water balloon catapults later and he was screaming obscenities at me/us. So I went over to
I studied ballet as a child
True - although none of you got suckered by that one
I received a blow job from a french girl in the Vatican(11.1%)
False - But not for lack of trying, unfortunately the female most available for such things at the time was a french-Canadian catholic girl, and while she was a most willing and adventurous companion in many ways, that struck her as going too far over the line.
Scoring:
The winner is
kikamer with 2.5 points.As promised you may sleep with
moderndayknight's fiancee whenever it is convenient for you to do so, I suggest you contact him directly to make arrangements. [and whatever he might say, it is entirely your choice whether you let him join in]Second place is a tie at 2 points each:
damion & spikenheimerThird place is a whole bunch of you all sharing 1.5 points:
[listed alphabetically]
_sacchi, darwinpolice, folterte, geektress, girl_on_a_stick, ignote, jennrh , jmichiko, lima_pcp, maryshelley, saveyoursanity, silentounce, sonicblue, the_anomalist, thoughtgolem, whatdot.Fourth place with 1 point is shared by:
[again alphabetically]
acadiabaird, atillathehung, azul, campellconey, gryphon, hurricane_amy, jami, ludimagist, majorweather, nova_starr, resilience, spldbrat, supersoaker, zaiah.And bringing up the rear with half a point scored is:
pr1ss Shameful mention is of course reserved for:
hellarad & moderndayknight neither of whom was able to successfully count to three
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-25 11:00 pm (UTC)unless i'm failing in my couting abilities
no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 12:25 am (UTC)you get 1 point for the llama
and 1/2 point for each of the marmot and cobain answers
no subject
Date: 2005-01-25 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 12:29 am (UTC)hotblooded
Date: 2005-01-27 10:56 pm (UTC)I see
Date: 2005-01-28 01:12 am (UTC)cant believe I missed that one
foreigner is one of my shameful secrets
[and apparently I've been repressing it]
*smirk*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-25 11:11 pm (UTC)Ensuing Questions that I will Forever Ponder:
Why were you born on a lesbian commune?
What is a marmot?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
asked and answered
Date: 2005-01-26 12:28 am (UTC)A marmot is a large rodent type animal, in the same family as chipmunks, ground hogs and gophers.
I am not entirely sure, although I would wager it usually has a porno soundtrack
Re: asked and answered
Date: 2005-01-26 05:33 pm (UTC)we don't have squirrel type animals here. Occasionally, we see jackrabbits, or regular, nondescript brown rabbits.
i think you may be right re: the one hand. But on the other hand...ha ha. lamejokedotcom.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-28 01:16 am (UTC)and even take it a step further
to say that no other beginning
would suit the legend
but
as I'm still sort of trying to face
being reunited with my own legend
in a rather blunt manner on my recent trip
[you dont really notice such things]
[until you are away from them for a while]
but maybe a post will be forthcoming on the subject
untill I think I'll just wink and
complement you on your smile
as it is without a doubt
one of the most bedazzling smiles
which I have come across
*grin*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 12:28 am (UTC):-)
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 08:35 am (UTC)How hard is it to ride a motorcycle? Is it anything like riding a bicycle, considering I'm someone who has never learned to ride a bicycle?
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 08:43 am (UTC)hard? not hard at all really
although not much like riding a bicycle
I'd recommend taking a motorcycle safety course
not only will they start you off right
but usually they provide a bike to learn on
during the course
so you can get a feel for it
without having to buy your own bike
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 08:51 am (UTC)It's something that I've been thinking about for years now, but never really taken serioiusly, and now I'm wondering: "Why the hell not? What have I got to lose?" I figure I can at least take the prep course and see if I like it...
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 09:05 am (UTC)left hand is clutch
right hand is front brake
[which has most of your stopping power]
and throttle which you twist towards you to open
left foot has the gear shift
[usually down for first]
[half click up for neutral]
[then a click up a piece for 2-6th gear]
right foot is the rear brake
[weak brake but convienent when stopped]
it is a little tricky getting the clutch/throttle balance right but no more so than learning in a car, just using your hands instead.
more than anything take a moment to familiarize yourself with the controls of the bike you are learning on, practices applying both front and rear brakes, depressing the clutch and shifting to get any idea of how they feel/move.
other than that listen to the instructor and have a blast.
oh and one other thing, if you dont absolutely love it by the end of your course, walk away.
The most demanding thing about riding a motorcycle is the increased attention level required. It isnt like a car where you can just sort of tool around in your own world.
In my experience the people who survive the longest are the ones who get addicted to riding and therefore are willing to put the time and effort into doing it well. Riding half-assed will get you killed.
and if you have any questions feel free to send them my way, and I will also recommend ellejays own
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 06:21 pm (UTC)But that's good advice, and why I wanted to take a prep. course, too.
Thanks for that.. I'll investigate it, and if I have any questions [right now I'm so clueless that I have none], I'll hit you up.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 07:23 pm (UTC)sweet
that means you have no bad driving habits
lucky for the instructor
virgin meat makes ones life a lot easier
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 07:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 07:30 pm (UTC)