I hate to say it

[plural]

but if you ever meet a lil blonde girl named pam
from nova scotia
and even though she is a hottie
if she offers to give you head
just donkey punch her
and save yourself the trouble

I don't like to be critical of people
who are trying to be generous
but
but
but
this chick gives the worst head
I have ever received

I mean
I have gotten better head
from an angry pitbull with dentures
[don't ask]
[there was a lot of alcohol and a wig involved]
[and its name was sheila]

It wasn't even like she was inexperienced
and just needed some coaching
I mean that I can deal with

normally you can give some subtle cues
or even some not so subtle clues
but no
this chick
was entirely certain
that not only did she know how to give head
but that she was good at it

lets just say
that she was wrong
in a way that makes
genocide seem like a
minor faux pas

I mean
it was so bad
that I just had her stop

because
I could see
it was never going
to end otherwise

I tried to be delicate
but
there is just no way
to really soften that

Comments

[azul.livejournal.com]

you know, i think that's a fatal mistake that women make. ladies, even if you know you're good at giving head, don't ever, ever brag about it to a guy before you do it- you're just setting yourself up for failure. you know, it's like when you hear how funny a movie is, and then, when you go to see it, it sucks and you don't laugh once. same principle...

[whatdot.livejournal.com]

I think the problem was that she talked herself up and then didn't suck... so to speak :)

[plural.livejournal.com]

I think it is a mistake many people make
[myself excluded of course]
however
this was less an issue of her talking up a big game
than
her sense of being so entirely certain
that she had the perfect blowjob technique
that if she just repeated the process
it would take care of itself

unfortunately
I have a sneaking suspicion
that whoever taught her that technique
enjoys having sex with
the in sink erator

Re:

[kyrahjade.livejournal.com]

o help
not the in sink erator
do not want
to stick
flesh covered objects
in there
shiny metal gears
turn red
at the sight of flesh....