I hate to say it

[plural]

but if you ever meet a lil blonde girl named pam
from nova scotia
and even though she is a hottie
if she offers to give you head
just donkey punch her
and save yourself the trouble

I don't like to be critical of people
who are trying to be generous
but
but
but
this chick gives the worst head
I have ever received

I mean
I have gotten better head
from an angry pitbull with dentures
[don't ask]
[there was a lot of alcohol and a wig involved]
[and its name was sheila]

It wasn't even like she was inexperienced
and just needed some coaching
I mean that I can deal with

normally you can give some subtle cues
or even some not so subtle clues
but no
this chick
was entirely certain
that not only did she know how to give head
but that she was good at it

lets just say
that she was wrong
in a way that makes
genocide seem like a
minor faux pas

I mean
it was so bad
that I just had her stop

because
I could see
it was never going
to end otherwise

I tried to be delicate
but
there is just no way
to really soften that

Comments

[tharine.livejournal.com]

oh my. owch.

[plural.livejournal.com]

you know

it occurs to me

*mischevious smile*

you most likely dont have
that problem


with lips like that ...

*wicked grin*

Re:

[tharine.livejournal.com]

one can only hope i have what it takes to live up to such high standards...

[plural.livejournal.com]

no worries there love

I have faith in the abilities

of a woman of your

virtues

[hiraya.livejournal.com]

I know, I'm totally naive, but... what constitutes good head anyhow??

Okay, nevermind.

[plural.livejournal.com]

no no

no need to nevermind

just pop on up here
and
we can go through the
ins and outs of it

*smirk*

Re:

[consume.livejournal.com]

You are a true gentleman.

[plural.livejournal.com]

one must do what one can
to ease the apprehensions
of the fairer sex

Re:

[hiraya.livejournal.com]

Ha. Right.

I was touched by your offer. (no pun intended)

I'll keep it in my head for now. (pun, yes.)

[azul.livejournal.com]

you know, i think that's a fatal mistake that women make. ladies, even if you know you're good at giving head, don't ever, ever brag about it to a guy before you do it- you're just setting yourself up for failure. you know, it's like when you hear how funny a movie is, and then, when you go to see it, it sucks and you don't laugh once. same principle...

[whatdot.livejournal.com]

I think the problem was that she talked herself up and then didn't suck... so to speak :)

[plural.livejournal.com]

I think it is a mistake many people make
[myself excluded of course]
however
this was less an issue of her talking up a big game
than
her sense of being so entirely certain
that she had the perfect blowjob technique
that if she just repeated the process
it would take care of itself

unfortunately
I have a sneaking suspicion
that whoever taught her that technique
enjoys having sex with
the in sink erator

Re:

[kyrahjade.livejournal.com]

o help
not the in sink erator
do not want
to stick
flesh covered objects
in there
shiny metal gears
turn red
at the sight of flesh....

[ignote.livejournal.com]

I've only had one encounter that wasn't successful, and let me tell you... it was quite the blow to my ego. Fortunately, it never happened again, or I might have given up altogether!

I'm not sure what that particular girl was doing wrong, but I do feel sorry for her. (And you, of course. Heh.)

[13conversations.livejournal.com]

Lewis Black:
"Oral sex should be an Olympic sport. Why? Because it's harder than curling. And, if you're any good at it
YOU DESERVE A MEDAL!"

Re:

[tharine.livejournal.com]

ah mr black. how i love that man.

[resilience.livejournal.com]

seriously... what constitutes "good" head?

Re:

[nandan.livejournal.com]

I agree, we need details! Just think of it as a public service.

Re:

[chaudfeu.livejournal.com]

Haha. Yes.

Re:

[ipsafictura.livejournal.com]

It's variable depending on the person you're giving it to and the best way to give good head is to know that and pay attention.

[lamotocyclette.livejournal.com]

Yo. Drop me an email. Update?

[dew.livejournal.com]

I wonder.....

Is bad head better than no head?

And if you've had no head, how would you know?

And how do you politely tell someone to stop?

[plural.livejournal.com]

nope

as for if you have had no head
well then you prolly are just grateful
someone is paying it any attention

you dont

its either

kthnxbye

or

hey lets go get another drink shall we?