plural

Aight so

I am having a little problem with my Internet connection

Basically for all you techies the cache on my ISPs DNS Server has gotten hosed, and as a result I cant access a fairly broad section of the Internet. [primarily focused around Microsoft Internet Properties]

I sent an e-mail to technical support and received a response saying that it was a Microsoft Problem.

Unfortunately this only re-affirmed in my mind that the particular technical support representative who responded to my e-mail met the following conditions
1) He was technically ignorant, functionally illiterate and terminally stupid
2) See item number one

The reason I was able to so accurately arrive at such a detailed understanding of his capabilities and character
is that I had specifically address and demonstrated in my first e-mail that it was not a Microsoft problem.
I had also explained exactly what the problem was, who and what specifically was needed to fix it.

So with a brief quiet moment
to regain my professional demeanor
I composed an elegant succinct missive

imagine a bitch slap written by andrew dice clay
then edited by miss manners

a true work of art

I explained again

how the problem was specifically with my ISP

why it could not be a Microsoft problem

and reminded them how to fix it.

but

then the coup de grace

I attached my phone number
at the bottom of the message,
inviting them to call me
if they did not know how to fix the problem
and
I would be happy to walk them through it

Yes

I am just that damn good