thank god for small favors

[plural]

so
this woman
I have been
well sleeping with
tells me today
she broke up with her boyfriend
this is not good news
supposedly
but what do I know about such things
anyway

she has been dating this guy
for what about 7 months now
and so he tells her
yesterday
that
he has decided
to go on Jerry Springer

ok so this is bad on its own
but its gets worse

he is going on springer
with two of his friends
and supposedly
he is gay in love
with one of his friends
who has been having an affair
with the other friend
who is dating this chick

anyway
if you see the springer with
several skinny Irishmen
that's them
they fly down next week for taping
will try to find out when it is showing
so yall can share her embarrassment

its all made up bs
they figure
they get a free trip to Chicago
and whatever

anyway
she rightly
dumped his ass

quite frankly
I would
never
be seen publicly or privately
with anyone
who had been on springer

All I can say
is
thank god its not me
having to see someone
I slept with
on
The Jerry Springer Show

Comments

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

OMG!

How are you sure you won't get lured into it?

I hope you find out when it'll be airing. I don't typically watch it, but I'd love to see this bit.

hell no

[plural.livejournal.com]

I dont do national tv
especially
jerry
will hurt
my ambitions

you see
one day
I am gonna be president
and when I am

I am going to restore
honor to this country
by sleeping
with all the most
beautiful women
none of this monica crap for me

JFK was a god
and he fucked marilyn
so I will do no less

besides
I have very progressive
social policies to enact

nah
I wont get drawn in
for one reason
he doesnt know
I exist
let alone that
I am banging his chick

and secondly
that he is making up
the whole scenario up
so it will
remain a
controlled
evironment

besides
she knows
I dont give a damn
about her
so she isnt gonna be
like but I love that guy

besides
she thinks I am psychotic
which is probably true
but I am great in bed

so we dont talk
we just fuck
and it works that
way

Re: hell no

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

how do you know Jerry doesn't know you exist?

jerry springer

[plural.livejournal.com]

hehe
he probaly does
but it aint gonna get me on his show

Re: jerry springer

[kansaschica.livejournal.com]

But will a limo and a dinner and a ten thousand dollar check?

Not that I have a clue what they offer, but...

Re: jerry springer

[plural.livejournal.com]

a limo, dinner and a 10k check
will get alot of things out of me
but nothing on national tv
the only recordings
of the debauchery
I participate in
which I allow
are my personal
archives

besides
10k aint shit
in the general scope of things
not even enough
to buy me a new bike

besides
when one is destined to be
a billionaire
whats the point of
messing
with a few thousand dollars

[princessashi.livejournal.com]

how come youve been listening to so much lords of acid lately?

Why so much lords of acid lately?

[plural.livejournal.com]

well cause its good shit
actually
i have
always loved LOA
but most just danced
or drove (read raced) to it

but I have
been feeling
pumped
and jazzed
and a few more of those horrible
meaningless words

recently
I have put away
my standard
cheesy80s+goth/industrial+funkyska
supply
and been
breathing
only

Portishead
Lords of Acid
and
The Reverend Horton Heat

music in the soul
I just go where it takes me

wow
what an
incredible
amount of bullshit

sorry

:-)

p