Opinions, ideas, suggestions?

[plural]

so I have to create an advertisement for my digital class
here is what I am think for a rough draft
lemme know what you think

would love some ideas relating to improving the text especially
just doesnt flow like I would like

I am not however looking to turn this into a pro-war/anti-war commentary
This peice is commenting on a specific slogan not my particular position on the war
(which regardless of whether you are pro or anti you probably wouldnt like much)





oh if ya wanna steal it or something, lemme know and I can give you a high rez version

Comments

[plural.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is one of the things which I seems rough for me,
also not sure if I like the final tagline either?
any thoughts there?

[geekwad.livejournal.com]

Well it's really a question of whether you wanna rip from established slogans or not. If it's ok, then leave it as is ... But will a slogan you come up with capture attention better?

[plural.livejournal.com]

Yeah that was sort of a tossup there,
I came up with a couple of options but nothing I seemed to like better
also with the audience being left wing college kids
I though the semi-spoof of an existing campaign might snap more
I dont know
I like the concept but am having trouble with the exact phrasings of the execution
hence this post to begin with

[geekwad.livejournal.com]

Well I like the idea. That's the hard part.
I'm sure you'll figure out the right wording.

[plural.livejournal.com]

yep yep hopefully
of course the pounds of vicadin I am on
dont really help with the creative brain flow

I dont really like "ethics"
cause I dont think it is really the best word
but anything I could think of to replace it
didnt have the same snap to it