God damn #@%#$^^&#^#&%&##@#$

[plural]

Oh
The evil of jars
in this case the specific evil
of a specific jar
of Spanish olives

I love olives
I eat them by the jar
so I bought
a 2lb jar of them
figuring
it would last me a while

I thought
hmm some olives would be great
to munch on
while I do whatever

The jar is the spawn of Satan
I bought this fancy triangle shaped
device which is designed
to easily open any jar

not this one apparently
It broke and I have
a full jar of olives
which I cant get opened
and an unquenched hankering
for olives

Can someone
email me
a chicken
or other suitable animal
I need to sacrifice something
to the gods
and my cats
keep running away

Comments

"Can someone email me a chicken"

[mistake.livejournal.com]

How about Larry the Lovebird? Most people do not think lovebirds are noisy, but I beg to differ. Perhaps because he is loveless, but he never shuts the hell up.

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

dood, try banging the lid on a counter.

If that doesn't work try a gym, sissy-boy.