Tonights report

[plural]

We met for dinner at nine
as agreed
the she in this equation
was a lil punk hottie
I met a few days ago
in a local disco

quite frankly
it was a disaster
at least with the some of the others
there was a language barrier
but
she spoke excellent english
which only illuminated the fact
that
she was a complete fool

by the end of dinner
I was so thoroughly repulsed by her
mentally that regardless of her
physical attractiveness

if she had thrown herself at me naked
[which I will admit would have been highly unlikely]
[as I got the impression she wasn't]
[enjoying herself that much either]
I would have walked away
quickly

or

at least I hope I would have

because
waking up with that
shallow rambling in my ear
would
require years and years
of therapy
to get over

so
after dinner we politely
took our leave of each other
and
I returned to my hotel
a bit too frustrated with the human race
to
consider going out

I opened my email
and
behold there was an email
from a senior at Sarah Lawrence
that I have recently begun a correspondence with
which
contained wit and charm
in all the right places
and greatly restored my faith
in human nature

taking a brief pause
to disable the timer on my death ray device
which had been scheduled to destroy earth
in but a few hours

I set out to craft a response
and
now several hours and
two russian novels later
it is complete and sent

I haven't felt compelled to
write such a lengthy correspondence
in some time
it was rather enjoyable.

and so without further ado
I will retire for the evening
as
I have a bureaucratic nightmare
to contend with tomorrow

Comments

[city-glitter.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sparing my life. ::sarcastic::

[plural.livejournal.com]

Its the least
i
could do

just remember that next time
bush asks for funding for
his [my] star wars death ray projects
that
i coulda used it
but instead chose to spare your life

my mommy always said i that
if i was responsible with my toys
that
i could have more

so
gimme more toys dammit