Tongue in Cheek

so

I've been thinking about the whole gay marriage thing

and I have decided
that I feel the call to activism

so, as a form of personal protest

I have decided

that I will steadfastedly refrain from marrying a man
and I call on all straight men to do the same

we can all pull a nancy and just say no

hell straight women can get in on the act too
and refuse to marry a chick

come to think of it

how about everyone

gays and straights together in a show of unity

get in on this protest

we can all refrain from marrying anyone
that we are not attracted to

and

otherwise

shut the fuck up

Six months past the expiration date

yesterday
on the way to school
there was a blip on the news
in the entertainment segment

"Paris Hilton in her underwear"

pimping some horror flick remake
she is currently filming

and I wondered

isn't that sort of anti-climatic
I mean
we have already seen her (admittedly poor) imitation of a porn star
just how is the thought of her in a bra and panties supposed to be titillating?

The Harem

several of you have asked about the harem

I wasn't sure exactly how to explain it
so I figured I would write an advertisement
as a way of explanation.

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Harem Girls Wanted
For a luxurious lifestyle in a gorgeous seven bedroom, three bathroom, three story 1902 Victorian home. The hard wood floors and twelve foot ceilings are complemented by comfortable and stylish furniture, a DVD library with nearly 300 titles and a well-stocked bar & wine cellar.

Benefits:
Use of related properties (a horse farm, a beach house, and the Martha's Vineyard estate, to name a few)
Use of various vehicles, car/van/truck, potentially even my motorcycle (a ducati)
Frequent opportunity for sailing excursions/races (seasonal)
No scrubbing of toilets or anything else (thats the maids job)
Enjoy exquisite meals prepared by myself (literally the best chef in town)
Daily orgasms and hours upon hours of foreplay and hot monkey loving
and last but not least
Basking in my charming presence

Duties include:
Relishing all manner of sexual perversions
Selecting and reading peices of literature/poetry twice a week
Massages and other forms of pampering (feeding me grapes and olives and the like)
Miscellanious nakedness and intimate companionship
Accompanying me to various social and public events
Accompanying me on various trips and excursions
Acting as a hostess for the various dinner, cocktail and wine parties in my home

Successful candidates will be attractive, flexible, intelligent, free of all STD's and refrain from use of so called "hard" drugs

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hmm feels like I am forgetting something
but for a rough draft, it will have to do