Rampant Misbehavior

Went out tonight

drinking with the boys

in typical small town madness
life ensued

one of my friends
went up and talked to a couple of girls
myself and another guy
stood off and let him make his play

he got shot down
no biggie
that life right

so we are standing
a few feet off
afterwards
talking amongst ourselves

when these three guys come up
start talking shit
as per my usual
I am trying to calm things down

apparently
the girl my friend talked to
was one of the guys girlfriends

and he was pissed off
that some guy talked to her

talk about insecure
I was half tempted to steal his woman
on principle

so I am trying to chill it out
I say to the guy
relax
my friend didnt know it was your girl
she said she was taken
end of story

lets all play nice and let it go
we will go our way
you take your girl and go yours

so one of his friends pushes me
gets up in my face
and says

"no, we want to know whats going on"

I look him dead in the eye
smile
and say

"trust me boy, you dont have a big enough dick to play that game"

so he tries to sucker punch me
but being a dumbass
he is standing so close
he cant put any weight behind it

I grab the lapels of his coat
and headbutt his ass

he drops to the floor
bleeding like a bitch

a whole bunch of guys jump in the middle
which is fine with me I had no interest in fighting

so the bouncers lead him out
with his girlfriend helping him

his friends are freaking out
the bouncer comes to me
and says

"were you involved in this"

I nod and say

"I was trying to calm it down and the guy hit me"

which in all honesty
was initially true
but I once he pushed me
I really didnt care anymore

so the bouncer is like
ok then ya have to go
puts his hand on my shoulder

I look at him and say

I am not going to cause any trouble
so you can take your hand off me
and I will follow you out

he shrugs seeing I am a civilized guy
and leads me to the door

I wait outside for my friends
they come out
we walk accross the street
and are talking
standard wrap up the evening stuff
and
of course
my friends were making jokes
about
how he was bleeding like a bitch
when
their group spotted us across the street
having learned their lesson inside
they decide to try and get the cops involved instead

I watched the cop talk to them
look over at us
four well dressed and genial looking guys
and
then at them
young wannabe tough looking guys
and just shake his head

one of the guys tried to cross the street
and the cop grabbed him
and put him under arrest

thats when it became a proper madhouse
within two minutes
there were about ten cops there

and we didnt even talk to them

the cops were busy dealing with the other group
who were being drunk, beligerant and demanding
none of which being things cops are too fond of

where as our group was relaxing unconcerned
not causing trouble or hassle for them

finally a cop comes over to us
and advises us most politely to go home
we smile and take his advice
say our goodbyes and go to wait for a cab

I run into a friend of mine
an officer with the RCMP

go mounties

he asks what I am doing
I say I am waiting for a cab

he says well shit come with us
we are going right by your house

us being him and one of his friends
a guy I know but not well

so he talks to one of the cops
and gets them to give us a ride

getting into the front seat of the cop car
I can hear the shocked protest
of the other group
who obviously were pissed
that I was not going into the back seat
and in cuffs

and just so we are clear
bar fights are something I try to avoid
but at a certain point
you can just tell people arent willing to listen to reason

that doesnt mean I go instantly to violence either
but in this situation we were literally
backed into a corner
and had to go through them
if we wanted to leave

I had not decided
exactly what I was going to do
but his throwing a punch decided it for me

he started it
I finished it
end of story really

I find headbutting someone in the nose
to be very effective that way

they fall down
see stars
start bleeding
with most people
[and with this group]
it is enough to disuade them from anything further

quick easy and effective
and
keeps shit off my clothes

anyway
I am off to bed
hope all is well with you

love love

me