(no subject)

silly penguins
synchronized swimming is for
closely shaved homosexuals

[not that I have anything against homos]
[now bisexual people, that's another story]
[I don't like them]
[cause they get to fuck everybody]

So you want to be treated like a king .... [rodney that is]

Can you hold my beer officer, I cant reach my license? (OK in Texas)

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Hey aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

Are You Andy or Barney?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.


and finally

When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"
Responding with "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
is probably not the best idea