(no subject)

[plural]

so upon
returning from
my
evenings rendezvous
posting
ever so briefly

i was about to retire
when
i
was engaged in
a most delightful
conversation

my spanish
is as you well know
miserable
and
my companions english
was only slightly better

but with some effort
we talked of many things

and
polished off
most of a bottle
of
rum
which i
of course
convienently
had located in
my hotel room

we talked for
several hours
breaking only
when the sun
was risen

it raised many questions
and
now that i am

[mostly]

sober

i have been thinking
[danger will robinson]

the question
which i will pose
while i continue to deliberate
is

what is a good man?

Comments

[suzvon.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't like the term "good" because that, in itself, is a judgment. However, I'm going to change the term to a "complete" man and take liberty.

A complete man, like a complete woman, is a man who loves and is true to himself. And the desire to have a complete (this is where I think people think of the term, "good") man is the desire to have someone who makes you feel they are loving you completely, as you are. For, through self love, unconditional love is possible. Unconditional love comes with no judgment.

Think about the people you really like and you will find at least one of the stronger elements...and a requirement, is that they appear to like you. The people in your life who like you, but...are the ones who you also have trouble loving unconditionally because you like them, but...if they would only stop judging you.

please.... take any liberty you like

[plural.livejournal.com]

you replace the word
good
with complete
because it was a judgment
which i do agree
and incidentally was what I was asking for
also
is complete not a judgment as well?

in who?s eyes is he complete?

...

"...is a man who loves and is true to himself..."

a question
you speak these words as if
being true to ones self is always a positive thing

what if you are a shit
then should you be true to yourself
and continue to act like a shit?

I completely agree with you that
the path to true love lies within self love

if we do not love ourselves
we are unable to love others
or allow them to love us

i disagree however that unconditional love
comes without judgment

quite the opposite
unconditional love requires judgment
otherwise you are just glossing over
a persons flaws and weaknesses

unconditional loves requires knowing
understanding and valuing a persons flaws

this requires judgment

everyone that i love
i love unconditionally

i love them not in spite of their flaws
but because of them
for it is their flaws that make them human

i still love
every ex girlfriend
every ex friend
whom i have ever loved

and as long as it was healthy
for us to remain in whatever relationship
we had
i did so
when it was no longer
so was the relationship

this was a recognition of reality
not a judgment on my part

far too often relationships
drag on in suffering
and blind you with pain
so that you can no longer see
the beauty and joy which caused you to love them in the first place

how often do you hear
"I don't know what i saw in them"

anytime you do
people refused to accept and realize
that the relationship wasn't healthy
and continued to hurt each other
until exactly that happened
they couldn't remember why they fell in love

life is full of pain and suffering
all that makes it worth while
are those too few moments
moments
when we share joy and love
with those we care about
be the friends or lovers

to throw this all away
because you were blinded by fear
or desperation to force something that wasn't healthy
seems tragic

you seem to have an aversion to judgment
but i think it is more likely that your
aversion is not to judgment
but to people who are
condescending and unfair
in their judgments

and most of all
people who reserve their love
based on their judgments