>HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly >- listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at >the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so >that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The >milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a >Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the >rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report >says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, >you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad. > >ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or >killing them. > >FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf. > >TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they >ever existed. Milk is banned. > >POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a >symbol of the phallo - centric, war - mongering, intolerant past) two >differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non - specified >gender. > >COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have >some of this milk. > >SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica >lessons. > >SINGAPOREAN BUREAUCRACY :You have two cows. Government regulations do not allow >you to keep them in your apartment but instead should keep them on the street. >Then you keep them on the street only to be fined for allowing the propulsion >unit of your personal vehicle (bullock cart) to be on a restricted travel street >during morning and evening commuter hours. You drink soya bean milk." > >ITALIAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The Mafia demands you pay them to protect >the cows, the Catholic Church require you to have them go to confession at least >twice weekly, whereas one cow becomes a porn actress and runs for president and >the other eats spaghetti until it can't produce milk anymore and is sold to an >English Second Division football club for ?2 million. You drink goats milk.
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Re: thing
Date: 2001-11-14 12:59 am (UTC)>HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly
>- listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law
at
>the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer
so
>that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five
cows. The
>milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a
>Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who
sells the
>rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual
report
>says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Meanwhile,
>you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.
>
>ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking
or
>killing them.
>
>FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
>
>TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies
they
>ever existed. Milk is banned.
>
>POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"
is a
>symbol of the phallo - centric, war - mongering, intolerant past) two
>differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non -
specified
>gender.
>
>COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to
have
>some of this milk.
>
>SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica
>lessons.
>
>SINGAPOREAN BUREAUCRACY :You have two cows. Government regulations do not
allow
>you to keep them in your apartment but instead should keep them on the
street.
>Then you keep them on the street only to be fined for allowing the
propulsion
>unit of your personal vehicle (bullock cart) to be on a restricted travel
street
>during morning and evening commuter hours. You drink soya bean milk."
>
>ITALIAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The Mafia demands you pay them to
protect
>the cows, the Catholic Church require you to have them go to confession at
least
>twice weekly, whereas one cow becomes a porn actress and runs for president
and
>the other eats spaghetti until it can't produce milk anymore and is sold to
an
>English Second Division football club for ?2 million. You drink goats milk.