I am a cold hearted bastard ... or ... maybe I just don't like people who selfishly toy with others

[plural]

a faux tragedy averted
millions relieved

personally
I favor suicide

I think as many of you
who want to off yourselves
the better

saves us the trouble
and create some space
for people who will do
something besides create
drama

I am a cold hearted son of a bitch

popping
a bunch of pills
on your web cam and
posting your intentions in your journal
is definitely
a cry for help
and
desperate for attention

people who are
serious about
killing themselves
do so,
and you don't know
a damn thing is wrong
till you read about it in the paper

[or find the body]

pathetic people
who do not have the courage
of their convictions
attempt suicide

quite frankly folks
killing yourself
or another person for that matter
is quite easy

if you fail in the attempt
you either
just wanted attention
and to create drama
or
you are some-ungodly-kinda-screwup

take this person
who decided to
take a bunch of pills
and flop around on their
web cam until their
friends managed in a panic
to gather together and get
the police and "save" her.

it must feel good
to have all those peoples
emotions tied around your finger
people rushing home and frantically
calling police officers halfway across the country

I say
fuck you
you selfish little twit

Life sucks
deal with it

if you need
attention
or
feel down

talk to people
talk to those people
who scurried about
in worry while you laid there
they seem to think
they are your friends

I do not know
why you are sad,
but I do know
you had no intention
of killing yourself
so
that only leaves
this whole mess
to be
a pathetic ploy
for attention

you make me
sick that you
could be so damn
self absorbed to
pull a stunt like this
put other people who
care about you through
all of that emotional turbulence
just because you
wanted to feel
"Special"

Perhaps I am bitter
maybe its because I
held a dear friends head
in my lap unable to stop
the bleeding from his wrists
feeling him die in my arms
before the ambulance could arrive

maybe I understand too well
what pain and suffering
feels like, what being despondent
is all about, and maybe I
stop just long enough to
think that I wouldn't want
someone else to feel that way

I think its all bullshit

life is hard
we are insignificant
and nothing is ever fair

so
get over your
damaged pride
and
do what we all do

breathe in
breathe out
repeat
as needed

eventually
it gets to feel
almost natural
I assure you

Comments

[plural.livejournal.com]

I would not think to
tear apart your words.

I understand the need to die.

When my first love
was taken from me
I needed to die

of course
I was too much
of a coward to do
what I needed that day

so I live on
and cowardice
is all which prevented
my hand every day thereafter

I understand
and have experienced
many levels of despair

I have wanted to
die for more reasons
than I can think of now

I have desired death...

from being unable to
cope with a loss.

from feeling overwhelmed,
with pain.

from despondency and
lack of hope.

from simple immense grief,
at the inhumanity of us all.

from disgust and horror,
at what I had done.

for all these reasons
did I yearn for death
and
more besides.


I understand that it is
often worse to live
to survive life
for some memories
never grant you peace

but as I said
I never had the balls
to go through with even
an attempt

there are those
who truly want to die
they are the ones
who simply walk out a
12th floor window and
are gone

then there are those
who want to bring
attention to their plight
and misery
they are the ones
who stand on the ledge
screaming and negotiating
with police and firemen
until almost always they
are rescued.

obviously
you will always have
fate intervening
and some of those
who want to die
will be saved
and
some of those
who want attention
will end up
getting it posthumously

law of numbers

what I found
objection with
was not even
that she needed attention
but in the planned
perfectly arranged way
she went about staging a show

she was
a performance artist
not a suicide victim

that is
what I found
so offensive

[perhaps]
[I am not always]
[as eloquent as I]
[would like]
[but sometimes even I]
[suffer from ungraceful]
[perhaps even incoherent]
[words]

[teaser.livejournal.com]

You have said it all so eloquently in your posts. I couldn't agree with you more. I have seen too many people both on LJ and IRL that crave attention and use other peoples emotions and sympathy to feed it.

Perhaps I've been through too many hard times and I've become hardened. Love (or the lack of it) doesn't seem a good enough reason to take your own life. This is what pushed Stacy to the point that she reached.