I am a cold hearted bastard ... or ... maybe I just don't like people who selfishly toy with others

[plural]

a faux tragedy averted
millions relieved

personally
I favor suicide

I think as many of you
who want to off yourselves
the better

saves us the trouble
and create some space
for people who will do
something besides create
drama

I am a cold hearted son of a bitch

popping
a bunch of pills
on your web cam and
posting your intentions in your journal
is definitely
a cry for help
and
desperate for attention

people who are
serious about
killing themselves
do so,
and you don't know
a damn thing is wrong
till you read about it in the paper

[or find the body]

pathetic people
who do not have the courage
of their convictions
attempt suicide

quite frankly folks
killing yourself
or another person for that matter
is quite easy

if you fail in the attempt
you either
just wanted attention
and to create drama
or
you are some-ungodly-kinda-screwup

take this person
who decided to
take a bunch of pills
and flop around on their
web cam until their
friends managed in a panic
to gather together and get
the police and "save" her.

it must feel good
to have all those peoples
emotions tied around your finger
people rushing home and frantically
calling police officers halfway across the country

I say
fuck you
you selfish little twit

Life sucks
deal with it

if you need
attention
or
feel down

talk to people
talk to those people
who scurried about
in worry while you laid there
they seem to think
they are your friends

I do not know
why you are sad,
but I do know
you had no intention
of killing yourself
so
that only leaves
this whole mess
to be
a pathetic ploy
for attention

you make me
sick that you
could be so damn
self absorbed to
pull a stunt like this
put other people who
care about you through
all of that emotional turbulence
just because you
wanted to feel
"Special"

Perhaps I am bitter
maybe its because I
held a dear friends head
in my lap unable to stop
the bleeding from his wrists
feeling him die in my arms
before the ambulance could arrive

maybe I understand too well
what pain and suffering
feels like, what being despondent
is all about, and maybe I
stop just long enough to
think that I wouldn't want
someone else to feel that way

I think its all bullshit

life is hard
we are insignificant
and nothing is ever fair

so
get over your
damaged pride
and
do what we all do

breathe in
breathe out
repeat
as needed

eventually
it gets to feel
almost natural
I assure you

Comments

[lique.livejournal.com]

Never tell me I'm not butting in ... then I just drooooone. ;)

Really, I'm likely sort of coming from a different spot, not knowing the person in this case personally, but, knowing a variety of people in my own life with some serious attention-craving disorders - in one case culminating in a similar attempt, and in others, falsified manic/depressive disorders that just became uncontrollably real over time. In all cases, I've learned one thing: frustrating as it is to see people harm themselves and those who surround them just because they can't get it that they're not the center of the universe (frustrating enough that, in the case of the individual with the suicide attempt it had little miss pacifistic buddhist me punching a wall and wishing they had died, which is just for anyone that knows me way beyond anything they can envision) ... at their core, they're just people who feel so lonely and so needy that they hurt beyond anything they think they can stand. Amd that ... yeah, maybe some would call it pathetic. In a non-malicious way it really quite probably is. But in the malicious way ... it smacks of scorn that no one deserves, in my opinion ... least of all the seriously downed.

Maybe all that gives me more experience. Perhaps it just gives me more bias in favour of sympathy instead. Never can tell with these things.

(End ramble.) ;)

not malicious just frustrated

[plural.livejournal.com]

and
most likely
as it relates to mine
own baggage

the whole scene
doesn't really relate
to me directly, I do not
know the girl in question
but
I have
my own issues
and while I direct
some of my rant at her
its is only because
of the ostentatious presentation

I have had several friends
attempt suicide
one of the them succeeded
and I have known
[although the weren't friends]
many others who attempted
and some who succeeded

it is just for me
that this instance
is so egregious in
it is obvious showboating

and it is not that
I do not have empathy
for the despair
either

in most things in life
we are lucky
if things work out
the way you want
10% of the time

and

if you are lucky
on a rare a occasion
the world notices that
you exist

but generally
we all live in
disappointed
forgotten little lives

cursing our parents
for feeding us
the irresponsible ideal
that life
is
fair

Re: not malicious just frustrated

[lique.livejournal.com]

And I can totally respect that point of view. Not get it, wholly, but respect it just the same. :)

[newtrip.livejournal.com]

mind if i add you to my friends list?

:)