I am a cold hearted bastard ... or ... maybe I just don't like people who selfishly toy with others

[plural]

a faux tragedy averted
millions relieved

personally
I favor suicide

I think as many of you
who want to off yourselves
the better

saves us the trouble
and create some space
for people who will do
something besides create
drama

I am a cold hearted son of a bitch

popping
a bunch of pills
on your web cam and
posting your intentions in your journal
is definitely
a cry for help
and
desperate for attention

people who are
serious about
killing themselves
do so,
and you don't know
a damn thing is wrong
till you read about it in the paper

[or find the body]

pathetic people
who do not have the courage
of their convictions
attempt suicide

quite frankly folks
killing yourself
or another person for that matter
is quite easy

if you fail in the attempt
you either
just wanted attention
and to create drama
or
you are some-ungodly-kinda-screwup

take this person
who decided to
take a bunch of pills
and flop around on their
web cam until their
friends managed in a panic
to gather together and get
the police and "save" her.

it must feel good
to have all those peoples
emotions tied around your finger
people rushing home and frantically
calling police officers halfway across the country

I say
fuck you
you selfish little twit

Life sucks
deal with it

if you need
attention
or
feel down

talk to people
talk to those people
who scurried about
in worry while you laid there
they seem to think
they are your friends

I do not know
why you are sad,
but I do know
you had no intention
of killing yourself
so
that only leaves
this whole mess
to be
a pathetic ploy
for attention

you make me
sick that you
could be so damn
self absorbed to
pull a stunt like this
put other people who
care about you through
all of that emotional turbulence
just because you
wanted to feel
"Special"

Perhaps I am bitter
maybe its because I
held a dear friends head
in my lap unable to stop
the bleeding from his wrists
feeling him die in my arms
before the ambulance could arrive

maybe I understand too well
what pain and suffering
feels like, what being despondent
is all about, and maybe I
stop just long enough to
think that I wouldn't want
someone else to feel that way

I think its all bullshit

life is hard
we are insignificant
and nothing is ever fair

so
get over your
damaged pride
and
do what we all do

breathe in
breathe out
repeat
as needed

eventually
it gets to feel
almost natural
I assure you

Comments

[princessashi.livejournal.com]

back when i was 18 or so a bunch of things had culminated, ending with my exboyfriend/landlord type person demanding my part of the rent that was by that point at least six months overdue. i of course decide to go the whole dramatic route and say ahhh fuck it time for a suicide attempt.
i stole a box of sleepinal and a box of childrens chewable aspirin from the store, and took all the childrens chewables and hid the sleepinals (since i had issues with taking pills. dont ask, im retarded)

of course the roommates come in my room after a while, see the box of sleepinals, freak out, drag me to the ER, where, even though i was screaming at the nurses "I WAS JUST KIDDING!! I DIDNT TAKE ANYTHING!!" they still strapped me down to the bed and gave me a good stomach pumping, then dragged me off to the adult ward of the local psych hospital for the most POINTLESS three days of my life.

and i have never ever ever EVER thought of pulling another stupid stunt like that since.

so yeah i guess the moral of this story is, i bet she didnt take shit, and i hope they pumped her stomach anyways.