Things found ... and ... things wondered
Jul. 9th, 2001 04:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pluralSeen..
On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be winner!
No purchase necessary.
Details inside."
[Evidently, the shoplifter special]
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions:Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
[printed on bottom of box]:
"Do not turn upside down".
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
On a children's cold medicine.
"Do not operate heavy machinery
after taking this medication".
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
[as opposed to.....]
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
[you dont want to know]
[honest]
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts"
On an American Airlines
packet of nuts:
"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals".
On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be winner!
No purchase necessary.
Details inside."
[Evidently, the shoplifter special]
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions:Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
[printed on bottom of box]:
"Do not turn upside down".
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
On a children's cold medicine.
"Do not operate heavy machinery
after taking this medication".
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
[as opposed to.....]
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
[you dont want to know]
[honest]
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts"
On an American Airlines
packet of nuts:
"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals".
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2001-07-09 05:34 pm (UTC)Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
i've always seen this attributed to a batman costume, which is even funnier cuz batman can't fly..
On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals".
who was attempting to stop chain saws with their genitals prior to reading this warning? the world is probably better off with them not using their genitals anyway
no subject
Date: 2001-07-09 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-07-10 12:19 pm (UTC)I think it should read
Date: 2001-07-10 01:56 pm (UTC)apply genitals in
a lateral motion
as needed.
way I figure it
anyone who is
stupid enough to
follow it
should be
having kids
if it comes
to applying my
genitals or
buying a new chainsaw
I am
buying a new chainsaw
every damn time
but
maybe thats
just me
no subject
Date: 2001-07-10 07:47 pm (UTC)anyone who is stupid enough to follow it [?]
Date: 2001-07-12 05:02 pm (UTC)be having kids.
dont scare me
like that.
thanks love
Date: 2001-07-12 07:29 pm (UTC)needed at NT at the end
of should
*grin*