once upon a time

[plural]

I went to Martha's Vineyard
for my sisters wedding
she invited 300+ people
expected a third of them to show up
but everyone came
so
I offered my help
getting things organized

I met a girl
on the ferry over
from the cape

she was a hotty
of course
I didn't realize
at the time
that I have
a garrote of Hickeys
around my neck
from a party
thrown by my friends
the night before

god
I will never forget that
Rachel and Mallory
gave me one hell of a send off

anyway
surprisingly
considering I found out
getting off the boat
that I had said hickeys
she gave me her number

so we went out

the trunk of my car
was a portable bar
I had three cases of booze
a case of wine
and a case of champagne

and of course
the keys to my families
private beach

life was good

so we hooked up
only thing I can guess
is that she
thought I had
tremendous balls
asking for her digits
with another woman's (or in this case two)
hickeys on my neck

anyway
I have to say
for all the romantic notions
which I appreciate
sex on the beach sucks

sand got in places
I didn't know I had places

the condom broke
was all fucked up
so we went back to
one of the houses
my family owns
showered
and fuck it
decided to fuck again
figuring
condom broke once
didn't matter if we used on this time
fucked like banshees
ummm
fucking good

of course
she left
two days
later
back to where ever she called home

never found out if she got pregnant

nurse once told me
I was fertile myrtle
the term amused me

I have
two twins
born
to
different
parents
I have
never met them
but other people
have
its a tweaky thing

I had a girlfriend once
who was all pissed at me
we were
traveling together
took at trip to the city
my great uncle
owns a floor of condos
in the Moma (museum of modern art) tower
was sweet
got 24 hours access to the museum
with a guard escort of course
but none the less
got me laid more than
a handful of times

"hey lets go to moma, they got a kewl exhibit"

"hunh, its 2am, they are closed"

"nah, not for me babe"

yes
I have had sex
in the company
of Andy Warhol's Originals

guards become real
lax when they know you
and you tip them excessively

someone once asked me
what are the chances
of you having little plurals running around
my response

I don't think
there are too many
little me's running around

Comments

Ha!

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

"I was fertile myrtle"

Funny. My Doctor said the same of me.. Said I should consider becoming an egg donor and surrogate mother for the ease of concieving and carrying mine.