Behold the power of the almighty words

[plural]

no
this isn't a religious thing

so
yeah

Sam and I just talked
for about an hour and a half

it was a goodness

basically
she was being a bitch
[her words not mine]
and couldn't figure out why
so she wrapped herself up in thinking about it
because she didn't know how to explain it
and didn't share any of it with me

personally
I'd noticed that she was getting awfully snappy

anyway
as a result of a variety of stuff
that had been going on lately
some related specifically to that
some not

I had been feeling
a little estranged

but
like her
not sure how to explain it
not having thought it all through
I didn't share it with her

and now
having shared it
and heard her perspective
it feels much much better

on a side note

I realized something today

we are both pretty much used
to being the smartest person
in any group of people

and have picked up some bad habits because of it
such as explaining things which the other person already knows

Sam snarked at me today
not to treat her like she was stupid
I was like, I'm not treating you like you are stupid
after all one of the primary reasons I am dating you is because you are brilliant

that's when it hit me

I wasn't treating her like she was stupid
I was treating her like she was normal
which to a brilliant person feels exactly like being treated like a retard
as I well know because it is a particular annoyance of mine

anyway I shared this thought with her
and said that in my perspective this is something we are just going to have to learn to forgive
quite a bit while we get used to dating someone on the same intellectual level
because I know for myself it's a pretty ingrained habit
and a mostly well meaning one as the motivation behind it
is wanting to make sure I am not talking above someone
and that they aren't feeling left out of the loop

and while we were talking about this
something else occurred to me

the relationship we are having
is very likely going to be the most difficult relationship
either of us has ever had

you see
brilliant people
and I say that without a trace of my usual arrogance
are pretty much used to getting away with shit
when it comes to other people

You know those little pranks
it is fun to play on gullible children
like convincing them that it rains because god is crying
but it is probably something they did which made god cry

well
that's pretty much how it feels to be brilliant
only not just with kids

people generally do not question you
and when they do you can out argue them pretty easily
tie their little minds in little knots
so that they are running around chasing their tails
instead of actually understanding what is going on

it is a terribly bad habit
but so often seems so convenient
that it becomes all too easy a pattern to fall into

which is probably why
most of my really good friends
are the ones who can challenge me intellectually
because I actually enjoy the challenge of having to be right
rather than just bluster my way through with some bullshit

well
not only can we not pull that shit on each other
but
we get pretty annoyed when the other tries to

so
that means we actually have to do the relationship work
instead of just smoothing things over with pretty words
and complex thoughts

not to mention that
she can see right through
most of my little tricks to placate women

so yeah
I'm thinking this relationship is gonna be a bitch
and
that thought is pretty exciting

cause
as I've said before

The juice is worth the squeeze

Comments

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

we are both pretty much used
to being the smartest person
in any group of people


Dream on, spud-boy.

That's pretty much the dumbest thing I've ever heard you crow.

[plural.livejournal.com]

hey I qualified it appropriately
and
quite frankly it isn't that much of a stretch

that isnt to say there aren't smarter people
only that such are the exception rather than the rule

it is afterall simple statistics
[as you well should know]
and
the simple reality is that
the majority of people aren't all that bright

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

Dude, there is no single overarching measure of 'intelligence' that any single person is 'best' at.

There are some that great communicators, but couldn't put together an argument to save their lives... In many fights, they win, in other, not so much.

Just as in mathematics, there are some that are great at analysis, geometry, etc... to say that one person is 'best' or 'smartest' is absurd...

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

I guess the bottom line here is, if you seriously are starting to believe:

we are both pretty much used
to being the smartest person
in any group of people

Give up now, go join MENSA and get a job at your local comic book store... the real world isn't 'ready' for you.

[perfection1144.livejournal.com]

Dave and I had that problem starting out too. He'd say something and I'd repeat part of his statement as a question, in the "are you serious?" type of manner. He'd then go on the explain what that word meant, and I'd flip out because I was well aware of the definition. Being talked down to (or like the average person) is one of those things that will set me off. It's great to have someone who can challenge you though.

[geminiwench.livejournal.com]

Intelligence,... and relative intelligence is a hard business.... and a hard rationalization...

Everyone around me always told me I was smart, they wanted to copy off my paper, I always had good grades without trying, I learned quickly and constructed and organized concepts easily...

People like to tell me that Im smart or even the smartest person they know...

But, I feel like a friggin' retard half the time. I have a hard time considering myself smart.... well, smart maybe.. but not smarter than the average bear... I consider myself average.

Although I can feel my ego swell when I see what really does seem to be 'average'... people who can't do simple math, people who don't understand simple science, philosophical concepts,... they can't even connect related ideas together without help...

So really, who knows?

I know I love dating someone who challenges me, who says I challenge him... someone who I can be amazed by their intelligence, and who are interested to here what I have to say, and who LIKES that they can't bully me intellectually during arguments/discussions yet still likes to engage in them.

Love it.

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

But, I feel like a friggin' retard half the time.

In my book this makes you a freakin' genius... always beware of the dude who thinks he knows everything... they're usually morons who are too stupid to realize what they don't know.

[geminiwench.livejournal.com]

Its an old adage, "He who is wisest, knows he knows nothing" blah blah blah...

Its another rationalization, I think.

Problematically, the well-known wisemen of history were generally quite taken with themselves and their own intelligence. DaVinci was so paranoid that people would steal his ideas he wrote his notes on science and math in code. Ben Franklin was well known for speaking on his own behalf quite regularly in both of his lives as a diplomat and inventor.

Geniuses are quite aware of where they sit in the world. Historically considered being rather mentally unstable.... and that is what happens when you can understand physics in a way you cannot explain and noone else can see... is liable to make you a little crazy... but these people ALSO knew that they were right, no matter what.

Men who think they or their ideas are "average" don't write books... well, maybe they do now, but they didn't hundreds or thousands of years ago....

Of course, Im referring to the uncanny genius,... not just the average run of the mill intelligent man/woman...

But I do believe that those with alittle extra upstairs Do see the world differently, see other people differently and are probably smart enough to know they are above the curve.

And and invitation to Mensa, the top 2% of the population according to standardized IQ tests is really scraping the bottom of the high intelligence barrel...

International High IQ Society: Top 5%, Minimum IQ for entrance 125, which means thatover 300,000,000 people, 1 in every 20 person qualifies.
Mensa: Top 2%, Min IQ score: 130
over 120,000,000 qualifiers, 1 in every 50 qualifies. Thats barely special at all!
One Percent Society: top 1%, min IQ 135
Poetic Genius Society: Top 0.05%, min IQ 139

And the list goes on and on through 17 stages all the way to the Giga Society which currently has 6 members. Almost perfect stats since only 1 in every billion people qualify... Top 0.0000001%, Min IQ 190

Even though 1 in 50 is pretty fair odds to be considered a genius... its probably low enough odds to feel different and special... dontcha think?
Why is it so frowned upon to consider yourself smart if its just as statistically true as other conditions of the human experience? Poverty, congenital defects, etc?

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

Its another rationalization, I think.

I disagree. In my experience, people who feel compelled to shout to the world their brilliance are usually morons. This isn't to say that really smart people don't know they are smart, they just have the foresight to know that their genius can flower from anyone's crap and if you intimidate people from working with you, you lose a remarkable amount of fertilizer.

[geminiwench.livejournal.com]

I think its very easy to feel smart,... and its easy to mistake average with above average, depending on your experience with people.

Like, if you work retail or work in a call center, you're likely to think pretty highly of your own intelligence... just because half of the people you come across every day appear to be half-retarded. 20 people asking you, "how much is this?" while staring at a sign that displays the price,... or talking to a college graduate who admits they have never read a book all the way through... its easy to imagine you're elite.

Of course, stating that opens you up to people willing to prove you wrong, and if you think you can walk through those fires,... go for it. You might come out a little, or even a lot more humble... or you may just prove yourself right. Can't begrudge a person who's willing to put their intelligence to the test by stating that they think they are exceptional, as long as they don't come crying to me if/when they are knocked down a peg;)

There are two kinds of intelligent people, and two kinds of less intelligent people.

Some smart people talk alot, to anyone, about anything. They want to let it be known they are a smart, capable person and dont mind proving it.
Some smart people talk very little or only about certain topics. They dont want to alienate themselves or others with what they say. They just let people think what they want.

Some stupid people talk alot, to anyone, about anything. They want it to be known that they are smart and capable and willing to bluff anyone they can into believing it if they can.
Some stupid people talk very little, they are not willing to put themselves out there and PROVE they are stupid, they are content letting people think whatever they want.

Of course, this refers mainly to people who know or think they know where they lay in the lands of smarts;)

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

Geniuses are quite aware of where they sit in the world. Historically considered being rather mentally unstable.... and that is what happens when you can understand physics in a way you cannot explain and noone else can see... is liable to make you a little crazy... but these people ALSO knew that they were right, no matter what.

Being great at physics doesn't necessarily mean you'll be like shakespeare... I'm convinced that people who accell in the sciences are different, mostly because of how they process and store information. This does not, however mean they can ever be shakespeare... and if being in the presence of someone like shakespeare could ever say something like, "I'm the smartest person in the room."

Men who think they or their ideas are "average" don't write books... well, maybe they do now, but they didn't hundreds or thousands of years ago....

I'm sure they did... they just didn't get published due to production costs...

Of course, Im referring to the uncanny genius,... not just the average run of the mill intelligent man/woman...

By 'uncanny' do you mean in depth, or bredth?

And and invitation to Mensa, the top 2% of the population according to standardized IQ tests is really scraping the bottom of the high intelligence barrel...

Anyone I ever knew who actually accepted an invitation was an idiot, and quite frankly it was the only thing in their miserable lives they ever did that was 'worthy' of anything... Mostly because even IF they tests used to 'measure' intelligence are accurate, they only measure potential. Without skill, and ambition they'll never amount to anything, and be drawn to 'skilless' milestones that involve nearly no effort to accomplish.

[geminiwench.livejournal.com]

There are many kinds of ways that genius can be expressed. Though I remind you the arts and the sciences used to be related subjects until about the age of Newton;)

How often have you stood in the room with A Shakespeare (not The, of course, but A) at all? Again, its an extremely rare trait to be THAT intelligent, that... "evolved".. if you will. Of course, I feel the need to bring up that Shakespeare couldn't spell his own name, and more than a few historians believe he didn't personally write a lot of the works/words accredited to him...

Agreed, not everyone who says they are smart, are.
But, you also must agree that not everyone who says they are smart, aren't so.

Has anyone here connected intelligence with motivation and/or success? Your argument here is moot and off-topic.

Its a personality trait you don't like, it may or may not reflect the person's actual intelligence.... although it certainly does reflect their social intelligence;) So if you want to bluster on about something, you've got your hook. Its uncouth, unattractive and vain to say, "I am the smartest person in the room"... but that alone doesn't make the statement necessarily untrue.

[geminiwench.livejournal.com]

By "uncanny" I was referring to the rather blatant sort of natural effortless intelligence that no one can deny, even upon first meeting or conversation. Intelligence that is disquieting when you run across it...

[geminiwench.livejournal.com]

Looking up fun statistics.... occurrence of a child born with a high intelligence that can be tested upon maturity in the Mensa range is twice as high as children born with congenital brain defects/disorders...

Which, seems to give me something to think about for some reason....

[girl-on-a-stick.livejournal.com]

You guys still around this weekend?

[plural.livejournal.com]

yup

that we are

I'll give you a call tomorrow lunchish