last night

[plural]

was good

really good

as promised I got rip roaring drunk
made a spectacle of myself
as only I can

and not counting tips and booze
won a considerable amount at poker

it was decidedly smaller
after paying for my bar tab
and gone completely
when I contributed to a friends wedding present
[a bunch of us pooled together and bought him a laptop]

but I had a delightful evening

I danced with beauty
laughed with friendship
flirted with disaster

and built a legend

well
that is hardly true
I've always had one of those here
perhaps
it is that
we became friends again
that legend and I

put those uncomfortable silences behind us
and set forth a new

last nights twist

was a new strain

a fairytale
or perhaps more accurately
a myth

the blind man's bluff

I was pleasantly chatting
with the young beauty on my right
and a pleasant fellow on my left

explaining to them
that while the cards matter
to a lesser degree

it is the player I play
not my hand

they looked at me with skepticism
and rightfully so

so I decided to illustrate

on the next hand
I didn't look at my cards
but instead watched the players
I bet
the entire round
each hand doubling my previous bet

most of the usual suspects
having seen me play this game
too many times
folded

normally
as the bettor
it would have to flip first
but
since I still hadn't seen my cards
where they had seen theirs
I asked if they wouldn't mind
flipping their cards first

my opponents
smiled assuredly and agreed

the cards came up
and hands were measured
I was facing pocket aces
with a pair of nines on the board

I flipped over my first card
bupkis
no help
little smirks of glee
lifted the corners of my opponents mouth
twinkles sparkled in the eyes of those
who looked forward to the comeuppance
which was so surely to follow
such a rash and irrational play

I flipped over my second card
a nine
trips
the hand was mine

the table erupted
the dealer shook his head sadly
a good friend of mine
and an excellent player
who dislikes my theatrics
as an affront to proper sensible game play

I smiled but was reserved
after all gloating would be unkind

turned to my companions
offered to give them the opportunity
to win their money back

I went all in
before the cards were dealt

this is another thing
my friend the dealer dislikes
one because it is out of turn play
and two because then he has to explain to all the newer players
how such an abomination affects game play

you can learn a lot about people
at a poker table
and
as an observer of humanity
it is one of my favorite aspects of the game

but as a complete bastard
I do enjoy that brief flicker of worry
that crosses their brow

their rational mind screams out

he is being a fool, take his money

and their rational mind is right
but they eye the size of my bet

but somewhere
deep in the pit of their stomach
is the gnaw
churning twisting
whispering
worrying

the juice looks tasty
the juice looks free
but
is it worth the squeeze?

it is an all too human question

but they see the money
and they get the itch

it is that itch
that reels them in

in fact
that itch
is the basis for every con
every sleazy trick
every fraud

it is a human constant

if there is one rule of gambling
any sort of gambling
it is never play a bet
you aren't comfortable making
or more accurately
losing

it will, always, get you in trouble

I've only broken this rule once
when I was in Monaco
and even though I got away with it
it was an experience I'll not repeat

anyway I've digressed enough
and do need to wrap this post up sometime today

some folded
but I got four callers
to a forty dollar bet
[numbers are approximate]
[obviously]

since everyone was all in
we flipped our cards

starting on my left
the hands were

44
AK offsuit
JJ
A6 suited

my cards

46 offsuit

people smirk
surely it is over
and then comes
the flop

357

the turn

9

and the river

Q

it was basically over at the flop
the flush draw was dead
but
it was theoretically possible
for the pocket jacks to hit the turn and the river
he needed two jacks for four of a kind
or two more of either 3s, 5s, or 7s for a full boat

possible but not fucking likely

I went to get a drink
while the dealer
now officially cursing me
counted my chips
took the max rake
and kindly racked them for me

I returned
drink in hand
and continued playing

some hands I'd look
some hands I'd bet blind

some hands I'd win
some hands I'd lose

but I won more hands blind
than I did by looking

was it good poker?
not in the least
it was terrible poker
but fun nonetheless

and so it was

the blind man's bluff

Comments

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

Ed norton, that guy from that movie about the southie dude from boston who was a genius. They are both poker players. The southie dude from boston's got a scene where he blindly informs members of a poker game what their hands are.