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pluralI'm taking a playwriting class this semester
and one of the assignments is to write a scene.
so
I started thinking about it running my mind across different ideas
Well I liked the ideas but it seemed many of my ideas
were more suited to an entire play and couldnt really be handled in just one scene
so I thought maybe I'll just write an entire play
Sure, it will probably be terrible
but its my first play, so, thats to be expected right?
Well last night I went home a bit early
as we were expecting a storm and boy did we get one
damn near two feet of snow [and it is still coming down]
but anyway
snowed in with few options I decided to start writing.
I had already figured out my device (no I'm not going to share it with you now)
and thought about how I'd lay it out.
so I poured myself a nice glass of irish whiskey
picked up a few spare packs of cigarettes
and sat myself down in front of the computer.
So far I've written the first scene and am about halfway through the second
but I figured I'd share it here in installments
so
it is a rough draft but feel free to tear it to shreds
as your criticisms only help make the final product better
The characters are as follows
John, a forty year old white male
Mick, a twenty-seven year old white male
Michael, a thirty-four year old white male
Jack, a nineteen year old white male
Daphne, a nineteen year old white female
and I'm thinking I am going to see if I can convince![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tydestra to make a cameo appearance as the token black person.
The set is fairly simple. Divided into four areas. Three of which are bare spaces, the last has minimal props
perhaps a stool, a chair, that sort of thing
the first three spaces are each alloted to John, Mick and Michael, the last space is used by Jack and Daphne.
and so without further adeiu
I'll raise the curtain
[stage is dark on stage is Mick, Michael & John]
[Jack walks on to the stage as a light comes on to illuminates his space]
[sits down crosslegged and begins writing in a notebook]
[Daphne is just offstage, closest to Jack]
[when each character speaks they are illuminated with a spotlight save Daphne who is offstage]
[when they are not speaking they are in darkness]
Jack: Dear diary, I've never had a diary before, that makes you my first. I guess that makes you special in a way. [pause] Dont really know why I decided to buy you, let alone write in you.
Daphne [from offstage]: Jack, is that you? I'm almost ready, just give me two minutes.
Jack: You are a rather plain fellow arent you, I think that is what I liked about you, no flowers or gilding, simple unassuming.
Daphne [interrupting from offstage]: God dammit
Jack [continuing]: No pretensions, no judgements.
Daphne [from offstage]: Jack have you seen my eyelash curler?
Jack [looks offstage]: You mean your medieval torture device? that thing gave me the willies, I made it go away.
Daphne [from offstage]: *sighs* You are such a jackass
Jack: Indeed but would you love me any other way?
[noises of drawers opening and closing, items being shuffled]
Daphne [from offstage]: Maybe, if we werent already late to your parents
Jack: What the old bat doesnt know, wont hurt her, besides it is my birthday party, it cant start without me.
Daphne [from offstage]: hush now, none of that, you know your mothers put herself through quite a bit of trouble.
Jack [turning back to the audience]: Actually Daphne [motioning offstage with his head] suggested it, something to help with my dreams I suppose. I'm not entirely sold on the idea of writing in you. But I'll give it the old college try if it will make her happy, who knows maybe it will help.
Mick: Three times three times three. Three to the third power. A three with a little three scribbled above it. It is what I am today, twenty-seven years old. My father always liked such peculiarities. He loved puns of all kinds, or most anything clever. When he was alive, he would send me cards, for random occasions, celebrating things like the third of march, two thousand and three. Oh three, oh three, oh three, get it? Not really sure how I feel about that, turning twenty-seven I mean, I rather liked his puns. It is an odd age, not old, far enough from that doomsday device that is turning thirty but no longer a wet behind the ears spring chicken.
John: I like tidy things. Circular things. Things without messy loose ends. I've never much liked drama, excessive emotion. I mean, emotion is good, just keep it where it belongs, within clear boundaries. I guess thats why I picked today, my fourtieth birthday, to be the last day of my life. Somehow to me it just seems fitting. To enter and leave the world on the same day. An exact span of time. As for forty years, it seemed enough. Forty years is a long time, two score, four decades. No loose days, weeks, months or years. Precision. I thought of waiting until I was fifty, but that really doesnt work right, then it all half-this and half that, half a century, two and a half scores, no it just wouldnt do.
Michael: I've never much liked my birthday. Always seemed like a forced joy. Perhaps I'm just not the sentimental sort. It is just another day, never understood why everyone expected me to care about it, let turn into some bubbling fount of excitement. Perhaps I can see it with those landmark birthdays. Not so much because it is your birthday, as the privileges society confers on you. Think about it, at 16 you get your drivers licenses, yay freedom. At 18, adulthood, every teenager yearns for that point where they can make their own decisions. Its a raw deal if you think about it, you get to vote sure, that sounds nice, if democracy wasnt a corrupt and failing institution. What else? Oh yeah, you get to work, pay your bills and if you screw up, society doesnt make excuses for you, they send you to prison. Not that I've been to prison, jail sure, but nothing that a judge and a little sobriety couldnt fix. At twenty-one you get to drink, now there is something to celebrate. You can now legally become an alcoholic, of course, you are still too young to properly enjoy it. Like most people, I have fond memories of being young and stupid. Of course, at thirty-four, not much has changed. Well, thats not entirely true, I'm not young anymore...
Daphne [from offstage]: Jack, which perfume should I wear?
Jack: The nice smelling one.
Daphne [from offstage]: Gee, thanks
Jack: Glad I could be of assistance, are you about ready?
[Daphne enters the stage, garbed in an elegant black dress]
Daphne: Sure am
[Jack stands and turns to her]
Jack: Wow, you look stunning, why I think...
Daphne: Dont you even think about it. I've not spent the past hour getting ready for you to muss me all up.
Jack: not even a little?
[Daphne shakes her head coyly offers Jack her hand and leads him off stage]
Daphne [starting just as she leaves the stage]: Dont worry, I'll more than make it up to you tonight...
[lights out, end scene]
and one of the assignments is to write a scene.
so
I started thinking about it running my mind across different ideas
Well I liked the ideas but it seemed many of my ideas
were more suited to an entire play and couldnt really be handled in just one scene
so I thought maybe I'll just write an entire play
Sure, it will probably be terrible
but its my first play, so, thats to be expected right?
Well last night I went home a bit early
as we were expecting a storm and boy did we get one
damn near two feet of snow [and it is still coming down]
but anyway
snowed in with few options I decided to start writing.
I had already figured out my device (no I'm not going to share it with you now)
and thought about how I'd lay it out.
so I poured myself a nice glass of irish whiskey
picked up a few spare packs of cigarettes
and sat myself down in front of the computer.
So far I've written the first scene and am about halfway through the second
but I figured I'd share it here in installments
so
it is a rough draft but feel free to tear it to shreds
as your criticisms only help make the final product better
The characters are as follows
John, a forty year old white male
Mick, a twenty-seven year old white male
Michael, a thirty-four year old white male
Jack, a nineteen year old white male
Daphne, a nineteen year old white female
and I'm thinking I am going to see if I can convince
tydestra to make a cameo appearance as the token black person.The set is fairly simple. Divided into four areas. Three of which are bare spaces, the last has minimal props
perhaps a stool, a chair, that sort of thing
the first three spaces are each alloted to John, Mick and Michael, the last space is used by Jack and Daphne.
and so without further adeiu
I'll raise the curtain
[stage is dark on stage is Mick, Michael & John]
[Jack walks on to the stage as a light comes on to illuminates his space]
[sits down crosslegged and begins writing in a notebook]
[Daphne is just offstage, closest to Jack]
[when each character speaks they are illuminated with a spotlight save Daphne who is offstage]
[when they are not speaking they are in darkness]
Jack: Dear diary, I've never had a diary before, that makes you my first. I guess that makes you special in a way. [pause] Dont really know why I decided to buy you, let alone write in you.
Daphne [from offstage]: Jack, is that you? I'm almost ready, just give me two minutes.
Jack: You are a rather plain fellow arent you, I think that is what I liked about you, no flowers or gilding, simple unassuming.
Daphne [interrupting from offstage]: God dammit
Jack [continuing]: No pretensions, no judgements.
Daphne [from offstage]: Jack have you seen my eyelash curler?
Jack [looks offstage]: You mean your medieval torture device? that thing gave me the willies, I made it go away.
Daphne [from offstage]: *sighs* You are such a jackass
Jack: Indeed but would you love me any other way?
[noises of drawers opening and closing, items being shuffled]
Daphne [from offstage]: Maybe, if we werent already late to your parents
Jack: What the old bat doesnt know, wont hurt her, besides it is my birthday party, it cant start without me.
Daphne [from offstage]: hush now, none of that, you know your mothers put herself through quite a bit of trouble.
Jack [turning back to the audience]: Actually Daphne [motioning offstage with his head] suggested it, something to help with my dreams I suppose. I'm not entirely sold on the idea of writing in you. But I'll give it the old college try if it will make her happy, who knows maybe it will help.
Mick: Three times three times three. Three to the third power. A three with a little three scribbled above it. It is what I am today, twenty-seven years old. My father always liked such peculiarities. He loved puns of all kinds, or most anything clever. When he was alive, he would send me cards, for random occasions, celebrating things like the third of march, two thousand and three. Oh three, oh three, oh three, get it? Not really sure how I feel about that, turning twenty-seven I mean, I rather liked his puns. It is an odd age, not old, far enough from that doomsday device that is turning thirty but no longer a wet behind the ears spring chicken.
John: I like tidy things. Circular things. Things without messy loose ends. I've never much liked drama, excessive emotion. I mean, emotion is good, just keep it where it belongs, within clear boundaries. I guess thats why I picked today, my fourtieth birthday, to be the last day of my life. Somehow to me it just seems fitting. To enter and leave the world on the same day. An exact span of time. As for forty years, it seemed enough. Forty years is a long time, two score, four decades. No loose days, weeks, months or years. Precision. I thought of waiting until I was fifty, but that really doesnt work right, then it all half-this and half that, half a century, two and a half scores, no it just wouldnt do.
Michael: I've never much liked my birthday. Always seemed like a forced joy. Perhaps I'm just not the sentimental sort. It is just another day, never understood why everyone expected me to care about it, let turn into some bubbling fount of excitement. Perhaps I can see it with those landmark birthdays. Not so much because it is your birthday, as the privileges society confers on you. Think about it, at 16 you get your drivers licenses, yay freedom. At 18, adulthood, every teenager yearns for that point where they can make their own decisions. Its a raw deal if you think about it, you get to vote sure, that sounds nice, if democracy wasnt a corrupt and failing institution. What else? Oh yeah, you get to work, pay your bills and if you screw up, society doesnt make excuses for you, they send you to prison. Not that I've been to prison, jail sure, but nothing that a judge and a little sobriety couldnt fix. At twenty-one you get to drink, now there is something to celebrate. You can now legally become an alcoholic, of course, you are still too young to properly enjoy it. Like most people, I have fond memories of being young and stupid. Of course, at thirty-four, not much has changed. Well, thats not entirely true, I'm not young anymore...
Daphne [from offstage]: Jack, which perfume should I wear?
Jack: The nice smelling one.
Daphne [from offstage]: Gee, thanks
Jack: Glad I could be of assistance, are you about ready?
[Daphne enters the stage, garbed in an elegant black dress]
Daphne: Sure am
[Jack stands and turns to her]
Jack: Wow, you look stunning, why I think...
Daphne: Dont you even think about it. I've not spent the past hour getting ready for you to muss me all up.
Jack: not even a little?
[Daphne shakes her head coyly offers Jack her hand and leads him off stage]
Daphne [starting just as she leaves the stage]: Dont worry, I'll more than make it up to you tonight...
[lights out, end scene]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Snowed in and writing a script?
Date: 2006-02-01 02:42 pm (UTC)HEEEEEEEEERE'S
Re: Snowed in and writing a script?
Date: 2006-02-01 03:05 pm (UTC)nice
no subject
Date: 2006-02-01 03:01 pm (UTC)(except for eyelash curlers, which I love, and do scare the whillies out of boys)
Nicely done honey. Can't wait to see the rest.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-01 03:06 pm (UTC)but yeah, thats something I need to alter
I'm not going for hipster lingo
but just a bit more casual
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 12:48 am (UTC):P
Seriously though, I hate writing dialogue and you've done a gorgeous job of it.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 12:53 am (UTC)Danke darlin,
btw I posted scene two as well
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 06:16 am (UTC)Sure. First of all, I'm still hurt I say that you never wrote up that post when we hung out over the summer. Secondly, I left lj opened on the computer in my office on campus and an actual black person got all huffy about the 'token black' quote I have from you on my user info - they went on and on about I'm not black, that I'm not even a token hispanic. It was quite amusing ^_^