onward and upward ... or something like that

[plural]

so

anyway I spent several hours speaking with the young woman mentioned in the previous post
[about the meaning of the word "harem"]
a most interesting conversation indeed

it turns out she moved from Saudi Arabia to Halifax about a year ago
when her husband married a second wife against her wishes

here is a woman who has been censured, jailed and publicly flogged
for desiring those most basic of freedoms we take for granted
and she beats herself up emotionally
because she does not feel she shows enough compassion to her patients sometimes
[she is an anesthesiologist]

she has a good deal of male orientated baggage
of course, with her background I cant blame her
being told to accept your husband beating you for several years
among the myriad of other ways women are oppressed in Saudi

I am more surprised that she is a balanced as she is
than that she has some baggage.

It is funny how our conversation has developed

from her first question of "are you looking for an orgy"
to which I responded "no, but I am not diametrically opposed to one"

to her saying I reminded her of her ex
I, of course, asked why
and she said "he decided he needed another wife on top of me"
and my explaining the difference in my perspective regarding a wife versus a harem girl

when that conversation ended
I rather did not expect to talk with her again
but this evening she messaged me again

as I had changed my headline as I discussed in the previous post
I explained the change and she said all of two sentences to me
before saying "have a good night"
but I gave her my new messenger account
that I opened for this purpose
again not really expecting to hear from her again

but sure enough about an hour later she im'd me
and we start talking and keep talking
for several hours getting fairly in depth

she is quite an interesting woman
in fact, if our cultural backgrounds were not diametrically opposed
to the degree that made a relationship impossible
I would be interested in pursuing something

but for now, I enjoy our little chats
and I will leave it at that

Comments

[pseudovillain.livejournal.com]

Well, I do feel the need to add this one in here.

She ain't that damn oppressed if she is an anesthesiologist!!! Do you realize how much schooling that takes.....OMG!!!

Dude if I could only get the money to finish school without sinking my self into so much debt I will never come out on top.

So really, come on, I am not saying she didn't experience those things, but I AM saying, she has it made much better than a lot of folks.

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

A medical doctor and a teacher are two of the only professions educated Saudi women can socially attain.

As such, both professions are generally derided and viewed (within the context of that culture) as something less.

She may have achieved something great for herself within the limits she experienced but her achievement to her current career is a much different path from an American med student.

[pseudovillain.livejournal.com]

I didn't know those two professions were looked down upon. However, I wonder if this person he is speaking of lives in America or is still over there.

I have worked in hospitals since I was 18, and anethesiologists are the highest paid doctors, easy hours, and on a crappy note, have the highest malpractice insurance ever.

I do not know of one that is hurting in any way.

And how is their schooling? Is it expensive like it is here? Provided? How does it work? The only reason I ask, is I can't seem to get myself in a position to finish school, I work nights, full time and just about killed myself last year at the attempt.

I guess all I am saying here is I wish I could finish school, and be financially as well off as one would be in that profession.

How the person got to that point, I can't really make judgements on, if that was the way life was, and I knew no better, then I simply would not know any better.

[plural.livejournal.com]

well she is still doing her school rotations, and sure education is one thing, but imagine if clair was allowed by law and custom to beat your ass a couple of time a week, if you were not allowed to drive or even go into public without a male escort, and if you did anyway, or failed to dress/behave as they wanted you to, you were subject to imprisonment and public whippings.

sure its nice she was able to get an education but come on, there is a lot more to life and freedom than that

[pseudovillain.livejournal.com]

Well all those things would most certainly suck, however I must ask if they aren't allowed to do anything, who provides them with the funds to attend school?

I guess I have a bitter view on this because I am a middle class white chic, busting her ass to try to find a way to get through school, work, pay bills, and not sink myself into much more student loan debt than I already am.

I was very successful with school, I just cannot work the job I have to complete it, and that just pisses me off.

So, in my view, if someone wanted to beat the shit out of me and support me while I finished school, I might just take them up on it. I know that sounds twisted but seriously, I wish I just had a fair chance to just go.

[plural.livejournal.com]

I hear you, I have watched you struggle to figure out a way to make it work and bang your head against scheduling and other factors, and can imagine why it would touch a nerve with you.

My point really in mentioning it was that she has been through an ordeal which many of us have no concept of.

[pseudovillain.livejournal.com]

Oh yea I can totally understand what you were saying. I guess some folks take different things for granted. Say, the women of the U.S take not being beat up on a daily basis (well for the most part) for granted....yet some struggle like hell to go to school.....and then apparently in Saudi, it is the opposite.

Funny how perspective can change everything, ya know?

[maryshelley.livejournal.com]

ohhh:) be careful!

[dsmoose.livejournal.com]

I work with Anesthesiologists in the Operating Room nearly every day. She is obviously converting to US Licensing; therefore, she is now going through her Residency.

They have a boring job! I'm basing this opinion on the many conversations I have with them and from hearing them say so themselves. They get just a tad more respect from the surgeons than I do being an OR X-Ray Tech. I'm not saying I don't get respect, but I'm more or less depicting the typical I-Think-I-AM-God personality of the majority of Surgeon's. I have witnessed Surgeon's talking down to Anesthesiologists as if they were Kindergardeners.

She should be able to handle these surgeon's just fine though considering her cultural background and what she had experienced within it.

Anesthesiologists do have a cushiony job and make good bucks for literally sitting all day. Altho, while they are sitting, they are undertaking a huge responsibility wherein the patients lives are in their hands.

Its all about knowing how to sort of ignore the Attending Surgeon's when they get rough, start swearing, and sometimes even throw things. They have a strange and rude way of releasing their stresses.

Ah well,...just felt like tossing my coins into the subject.

I'm sure she is an interesting chat.

I study Egyptian dancing and made friends with girls from many different backgrounds. Brazil, Sweden, Switzerland, Germany, Russian,...etc., Not untypical in Chicago. But I am continually fasincinated when I'm engage in conversation with any of them. -First, their accents and then a slice of cultural education.

I have yet to meet a female from Saudi Arabia, but that would definately be interesting.

I think you are lucky to have such a new friend.