The Harem

[plural]

several of you have asked about the harem

I wasn't sure exactly how to explain it
so I figured I would write an advertisement
as a way of explanation.

---

Harem Girls Wanted
For a luxurious lifestyle in a gorgeous seven bedroom, three bathroom, three story 1902 Victorian home. The hard wood floors and twelve foot ceilings are complemented by comfortable and stylish furniture, a DVD library with nearly 300 titles and a well-stocked bar & wine cellar.

Benefits:
Use of related properties (a horse farm, a beach house, and the Martha's Vineyard estate, to name a few)
Use of various vehicles, car/van/truck, potentially even my motorcycle (a ducati)
Frequent opportunity for sailing excursions/races (seasonal)
No scrubbing of toilets or anything else (thats the maids job)
Enjoy exquisite meals prepared by myself (literally the best chef in town)
Daily orgasms and hours upon hours of foreplay and hot monkey loving
and last but not least
Basking in my charming presence

Duties include:
Relishing all manner of sexual perversions
Selecting and reading peices of literature/poetry twice a week
Massages and other forms of pampering (feeding me grapes and olives and the like)
Miscellanious nakedness and intimate companionship
Accompanying me to various social and public events
Accompanying me on various trips and excursions
Acting as a hostess for the various dinner, cocktail and wine parties in my home

Successful candidates will be attractive, flexible, intelligent, free of all STD's and refrain from use of so called "hard" drugs

---

hmm feels like I am forgetting something
but for a rough draft, it will have to do

Comments

[maryshelley.livejournal.com]

dammit. i would have applied.

[plural.livejournal.com]

would have?

[mselfie.livejournal.com]

not to speak for maryshelley, but if she's anything like me, "prior obligations" of a rather permanent nature tends to keep one from applying instantly for such a cushy lifestyle.

[ipsafictura.livejournal.com]

I'd add in something about a required hotness level. Also, you should require bisexuality so as to make those threesomes and moresomes more fun.

[plural.livejournal.com]

well

if your man gets outta line
you could always let him know
you have other options

*mischevious grin*

[plural.livejournal.com]

I thought about quantifying it beyond attractive and decided against it. The simple fact is that while I have high standards with regard to beauty, they are also somewhat unorthodox, and I couldnt find a way to concisely explain it without distracting overly from the point.

keeping it simply at attractive, seemed to give me the most flexibility.

as for bisexuality, I would say that is amply covered by "relishing all manner of sexual perversions" besides in my experience, any chick that would even consider being a harem girl is probably not the sort to blink at frolicking with another woman

[ipsafictura.livejournal.com]

Valid point, but there are "show" bisexuals, and there are real bisexuals, and the real ones are more fun.

I never considered my sexual preference a perversion. My enjoyment of being spanked, that's a perversion.

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

geeze, I donno, bubba, I think you've whittled the field down quite a bit...

So much so, there are likely other places that might have more annemities (I'm thinking 'Hefs' place for one).

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

and another thing...

What would your mother say if you didn't include "Shiksas need not apply"?

[iamjosh.livejournal.com]

wow.. almost worth the sex change..nah..

ok when you have to many pass a few my way.

-j

[iamjosh.livejournal.com]

by the way.. thanks for the note.. I'll hafta try that..

[plural.livejournal.com]

good point, although up here there tend to be a lot of real bisexuals who arent comfortable admitting it. I have slept with several girls here who admitted to me that they were bisexual but are terrified of anyone else finding out.

I wouldnt say that it is a perversion, only that "all manner of sexual perversions" is amply wide enough to cover anything of a sexual nature, mainstream or otherwise.

[plural.livejournal.com]

yeah well

hef's had a lot longer in the harem business than I
but someday

the girls can dream right?

[plural.livejournal.com]

nah

it has to be shiksas

otherwise mother would push for a mass wedding

[plural.livejournal.com]

*grin*

sure thing bud

[plural.livejournal.com]

*grin*

it works like a charm

although

it isnt something you want your mother finding out about

[thawaltzingfool.livejournal.com]

I fit all of the requirements.

When do I start?

[plural.livejournal.com]

Well, I will be moving in during september so how about the 27th, a harem would make for a nice birthday present to myself

[ignote.livejournal.com]

You didn't mention the appearance members of your harem will be expected to maintain. I realize that perhaps you were avoiding this discrimination, but you didn't state it so bluntly. Will you comprise said harem of an eclectic group of women, in varying sizes, colors and styles? Does each harem member need to fulfill all aspects of the above requirements, or would you assign certain women to hostessing and others to accompany you to clubs for example?

[maryshelley.livejournal.com]

exactly right:)

[plural.livejournal.com]

I will seek a certain amount of diversity over the spectrum of what I personally find attractive and sexy.

Each member should be able to fulfill all of the duties mentioned, of course over time, it will naturally sort itself out with those who excel at certain areas taking primary responsibility for the non-sexual/intimate functions.

[plural.livejournal.com]

well, in that case

what I said to her, applies to you as well

*grin*

[perfection1144.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a lifestyle I could handle. Count me in :)

[plural.livejournal.com]

with pleasure :)

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

You know, as soon as I typed that, it occured to me she'd probrably approve for the simple reason that the shiksa could double as a Shabbas Goy, and save you a few bucks around the holy season...

I mean someone has to be around to operate the K-Y warmer, right?

[plural.livejournal.com]

exactly

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

Now.. I generally think you SHOULD run the ad.

I'd include something to the effect of a university in proximity and continuing work on educational goals is to be expected and promoted.. and other than that run it past your attorney have the contracts drawn.

If you wish, hire an agency to filter the applications for you so as to protect actual privacy.. contract with a psych of some sort to make sure that with each application she displays an actual aptitude for the things you have outlines and isn't just sunning you on..

(I'm thinking of things like jealousy and bickering in just general life or for status among the Harem girls more than directly being able to relate to you appropriately. You want peace in your household, right? These girls better be able to get along.) I'm betting that bu the end of August you could have at least three positions filled.

You may wish to introduce a little red tape for those that make it through the initial screening process, HOW intitial introductory dates will be handled of course.. and if that goes well the sexual performance standard after that.. Then invitations to your home and to become familiar with the area could be extended.

I have some thoughts burbling around as well that the interpersonal contract may be severed at any time by either individual, but decrum at severence is to be expected (with specific details given to handling the social situation.. They are your friends and her pressence is only allowed if she remains on good terms with you).

And there is something percolating about contract renewal being yearly or some such.. I could see many a lovely lady enjoying working her way through school within your Harem.

Good Luck dear. ;)

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

you are such a Jewish mother.

[rdg.livejournal.com]

hmm feels like I am forgetting something

-- Redheads strongly encouraged to apply.

[plural.livejournal.com]

bravo

an excellent idea

[plural.livejournal.com]

I have been thinking about that

I figured I would get a post office box and direct responses to it, requesting that they enclose a photo, of course.

After that, I figure I would post the photos and responses here (friends only security to respect their privacy)

and let yall help me select the best ones.

the pyschologist idea is a good one, and of course I will involve my attorney, I never do anything with talking to them.

[ipsafictura.livejournal.com]

Heh, I guess I have a skewed perception of bisexuality. In the Bay Area it's so acceptable it's like a fashion accessory.

[plural.livejournal.com]

it is like that in most larger cities, however sydney is a pretty small city. Even in Halifax, a few hours away, it is far more socially acceptible.

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

Oh.. and your expectations about her private sexual behavior (with individuals other than you or the other harem girls..) would need to be featured prominently on the application.

I think you should have a screening interview with an agency of some sort.. a temp place even (a nation wide temp service - ooh this is becoming more expensive). It does something in the mind of the individual applying and has someone else's eyes on the person before you have to worry about whether or noth they are acceptable.. of course you can always go against the recommendation of the agent but in the mind of the applicant things just got taken OUT of 'creepy old man with bodies burried under the polished hardwood floors' to 'off the wall interesting way to think about sex and relationships.'

I've been considering where ads should be run.. Certainly a net advertisement would be best.. and therecould even be a quiz thingee email bit before they are even qualified to apply. A little competition is always fun too.. 'Are you good enough to apply to be his Harem Girl?' that might add to the self esteem psych check too. ;)

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

Thanks Uncle Bunny. :)

[rdg.livejournal.com]

btw, 's complemented

???

[plural.livejournal.com]

sorry, you lost me there

Re: ???

[rdg.livejournal.com]

The hard wood floors and twelve foot ceilings are complimented by comfortable and stylish furniture

just lookin' out, in case you were posting it somewhere

Re: ???

[plural.livejournal.com]

ahhh

kk, thanks I will fix that