On Respect

[plural]

I was thinking some of one of my recent posts specifically when I discussed respecting women

Of course, the next day I recalled two more women I respect but that isnt really the point here
what I really thought about was how I use the word respect and what it takes to become someone I respect

like I said, I respect very few people
[which is different from disrespecting them, I disrespect no-one without good reason]

but what does that mean, sure we can go to the dictionary and get the standard bullshit definition
but when it comes down to it, respect, and by what we measure it is highly personal

in fact it says more about us than the people whom we respect
in a certain sense respect is envy without the baggage

the bar I set for respect is fairly high and what in all honesty disqualifies most people
is not some failing on their part but simply that I do not know them well enough to judge

people like weetanya & luv2ride are two examples of such
people who I have met briefly and who left a positive impression
but that I honestly do not know well enough to make such a call

with those I know personal responsibility is what I respect
I do not care if you are successful, gorgeous, or brilliant
if you are an ass or unable to look at yourself
you may never know it, but I will view you with contempt
of course
if you are one of those I respect you will know it

the people I respect, firstly respect themselves
show respect to others unless there is cause to do otherwise
look at themselves and their lives openly
and, and
make an effort to work on their shit

for me it isnt really how well you have your shit together but whether you are working on improving yourself
sure, something with their shit together impresses me but we all have shit, and if there is one thing I have learned in this life
is that it is precisely when you have become comfortable having your shit together that life throws you the unexpected curve

with my friends I do not look for those who have everything perfect because life isnt
instead I look for people who can handle the shit that happens with grace and flexibility

Comments

[pseudovillain.livejournal.com]

I agree. And I am trying to handle my shit as gracefully as possible. It was pretty damn ugly there for a while, but I swam through the sewage of hell and made it out.

But I totally agree, as a matter of fact, I have been antsy lately because I can't find something to "work on", because my work schedule hinders me so. I am always moving forward, I am not one to sit still....ever.

[plural.livejournal.com]

while I will use a caveat
that I do not know you from eve

my impression is
that you handle yourself pretty well

honestly most of the people whose lj's I read
[but not all, there are some who just amuse me]

are people who I have some measure of respect for, even if hindered by anonymity.

[weetanya.livejournal.com]

well, almost thank-you then, mr. plural. ;)

[plural.livejournal.com]

*grin*

[atillathehung.livejournal.com]

When you post something about respecting people, I nod in agreement.

People throw the word "respect" around too loosely; often, they interchange it with "courtesy."

When I first meet someone, I don't respect them. He or she has to earn my respect. I will be courteous, however, until such time as the person proves himself unworthy of it (most don't).

And you always make the point of respecting people who respect themselves. That makes good sense to me.

[plural.livejournal.com]

yep, way I figure it, if you cant find within yourself something which makes treating yourself with respect, then it probably isnt worth me trying to look.