plural

so

I just had one of those
stomach sinking to the middle of the earth moments

you know those ones where you go

"oh fuck me"

cause nothing else comes quick close enough

I just got off the phone with my dear mother

A few years back, I was arrested while travelling
with my mother and girlfriend at the time on an outstanding warrant

a warrant issued because an attorney of mine had forgotten
to dot his i's and cross his t's
serves me right for going outside the family for legal counsel
but I sort of wanted to keep the situation quiet

my mother was kind enough to post my bail
and I went to court the following week
and resolved the matter entirely

anyway mother informs me that
she received a letter from the bond company
saying that the bond was forfiet
and requesting the sum of $150,000.00
[one hundred and fifty thousand dollars]

I am not sure if you can imagine
what exactly this feels like
as for most people such a letter
would be trying to squeeze blood from a rock

but for the next two minutes
my brain was scrambling
trying to make some sense of it all

I force myself to calm down
analyze the facts that I have
make the picture fit

and it hits me

my bail could not have been more than 10 grand total
it was a misdeamenor failure to comply charge
there is no way the bond could have been 150k
so there is no way I could owe that amount

so dear mother trudges up to her office
and digs through her paperwork to find the letter
starts off gravely reading me the letterhead
so that I have the contact information
by which to talk to them

then she informs me that she is just going to read me
the entire letter so that I hear it all

with some impending sense of doom
I agree and she begins

I wont bore you with the specifics
but its one of those standardize form letters
on such and such a date such and such was performed
by such and such yada yada

two glaring differences between her account of the letter
and the words she is now reading over the telephone to me

the first and most obvious is the amount

$1500.00 not $150,000.00
few extra zeros anyone?

next it is not demanding payment
but saying that without an exoneration form
it can not release the collateral provided

but at that point I was like yeah yeah whatever
fifteen hundred bucks would sting
but 150k would wound deeply

it would mean me abandoning school
moving back to the states and getting a real job again
atleast for a few years
that isnt the kind of financial hit
that I can just walk off

anyways thats all

just scared the crap out of me
and my heart is still beating a lil fast