plural

I am about to go to sleep

to take a woman
in my arms

that I could care less about

well
no
more than any person
recently met

you know
how you feel
when you meet someone who seems
neat
nice
cool

who seems to be a good person

you kind of like them
but
really
without any shared history
you
cant really care that much about them

that's
how I feel

this woman
naked and warm
comforting as she will be in my arms

I just cant bring myself
to
care about her
any more
that a stranger

which I suppose she is

and

quite frankly
I wish she meant more
but
she does not

and

I think

maybe

I am too old for this shit

too old for meaningless women
and
casual sex

too old for romping around
like
I am twenty two

maybe
just maybe

it is time for me to grow up

only

there is a part of myself
that says

why?

for who?

and I can only guess
but
I have to think
that

as long as I act this way

I will never find
the woman I want

the woman who I can marry

instead doomed
to string of beautiful
but empty women
of empty affairs

that only leave me feeling worse