plural

"Hey, sorry I ruined your evening"

Well folks, we have a problem

I have looked
and
looked
and
apparently

no place in Sydney sells my brand of condom

this is a problem

cause there are only three brands
which I able to use
and nobody sells any of em here

cant use the rest cause
they either hurt terribly
or break quickly

which sort of defeats the point

so

from now on

we are going to institute
a condom worthy program

all prospective applicants
[local service only of course]
shall be evaluated
and place into
one of three categories

condom worthy

blow me and I'll owe you one

and

blow me and I'll call you a cab

I figure the dozen or so condoms I have now
should last me till I get back to the states
next week

at which point I can pick up a case
and if I ration them carefully
I should be able to last until spring

well
unless I find someone
regularly condom worthy
but
that I suppose is
worth a trip back to the states
to
load up again