Life's Special Moments
Sep. 1st, 2002 10:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pluralEver have those moments where are sharply reminded that you are not nearly as cool as you think you are?
of course you have
life would be no fun with out those little moments
when you realize that your disposable adult undergarments are on backwards
and the product tag is sticking out the front of your pants
enabling you to proudly share your product loyalty with the rest of the world
ok I suppose we could all do without those particular moments
but that's not what I came to share
those of you with any sort of short term memory
and any reason to care
might remember my complaining that my new laser printer was not working
well, I discovered the reason today
did not even have to read the fucking manual [RTFM]
I was merely looking around for a USB extension cable
when I noticed a parallel port cable lying under my computer table.
That's odd I thought
I didn't have a spare printer cable which is why I needed to buy one.
Then it hits me...
...with the exact force force of a New York City yellow pages
thrown from across the room by a very angry
but [still] incredibly sexy blonde with a 34D-19-23 figure
Do not ask how I know exactly how much force is transferred into a phone book by a woman under a hundred pounds
for it is far too long of a story, but I can assure you, it is much greater than you would expect
God knows it surprised the hell out of me
ok now where was I,
oh yes
being hit with a telephone book
wait no
that is not it
oh yes, the printer cable
So it dawned on me that printers function far better
when they are connected to the intended computer
than when the cable is laying on the floor collecting dust.
why
if I had not spent most of that day having raucous and disturbingly perverse sex
[there was even another person there for much of it, imagine that]
I would almost feel bad about my oversight
oh well, I need a drink
bourbon love where are you?
of course you have
life would be no fun with out those little moments
when you realize that your disposable adult undergarments are on backwards
and the product tag is sticking out the front of your pants
enabling you to proudly share your product loyalty with the rest of the world
ok I suppose we could all do without those particular moments
but that's not what I came to share
those of you with any sort of short term memory
and any reason to care
might remember my complaining that my new laser printer was not working
well, I discovered the reason today
did not even have to read the fucking manual [RTFM]
I was merely looking around for a USB extension cable
when I noticed a parallel port cable lying under my computer table.
That's odd I thought
I didn't have a spare printer cable which is why I needed to buy one.
Then it hits me...
...with the exact force force of a New York City yellow pages
thrown from across the room by a very angry
but [still] incredibly sexy blonde with a 34D-19-23 figure
Do not ask how I know exactly how much force is transferred into a phone book by a woman under a hundred pounds
for it is far too long of a story, but I can assure you, it is much greater than you would expect
God knows it surprised the hell out of me
ok now where was I,
oh yes
being hit with a telephone book
wait no
that is not it
oh yes, the printer cable
So it dawned on me that printers function far better
when they are connected to the intended computer
than when the cable is laying on the floor collecting dust.
why
if I had not spent most of that day having raucous and disturbingly perverse sex
[there was even another person there for much of it, imagine that]
I would almost feel bad about my oversight
oh well, I need a drink
bourbon love where are you?
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no subject
Date: 2002-09-02 02:53 am (UTC)Thankyou.