Life's Special Moments

[plural]

Ever have those moments where are sharply reminded that you are not nearly as cool as you think you are?

of course you have

life would be no fun with out those little moments

when you realize that your disposable adult undergarments are on backwards

and the product tag is sticking out the front of your pants

enabling you to proudly share your product loyalty with the rest of the world

ok I suppose we could all do without those particular moments

but that's not what I came to share

those of you with any sort of short term memory
and any reason to care
might remember my complaining that my new laser printer was not working

well, I discovered the reason today

did not even have to read the fucking manual [RTFM]

I was merely looking around for a USB extension cable
when I noticed a parallel port cable lying under my computer table.

That's odd I thought
I didn't have a spare printer cable which is why I needed to buy one.

Then it hits me...

...with the exact force force of a New York City yellow pages

thrown from across the room by a very angry

but [still] incredibly sexy blonde with a 34D-19-23 figure

Do not ask how I know exactly how much force is transferred into a phone book by a woman under a hundred pounds

for it is far too long of a story, but I can assure you, it is much greater than you would expect

God knows it surprised the hell out of me

ok now where was I,
oh yes
being hit with a telephone book
wait no
that is not it

oh yes, the printer cable

So it dawned on me that printers function far better
when they are connected to the intended computer
than when the cable is laying on the floor collecting dust.

why

if I had not spent most of that day having raucous and disturbingly perverse sex
[there was even another person there for much of it, imagine that]
I would almost feel bad about my oversight

oh well, I need a drink

bourbon love where are you?

Comments

[asrei.livejournal.com]

fthh..
have a joint
then the drink.