If God does not exist, and has never existed, why do I miss him so?

[plural]

The past few weeks here in Nova Scotia
have seen me spending more time in synagogue
than probably the last five years combined
and
more than likely
my attendance will become a regular thing now

not so much because of any spiritual revelation
but more because of necessity

the Jewish community here is very small
and almost entirely composed of senior citizens

in Jewish custom
there are certain prayers which may only be said
within a minyan
[a group of ten men over age 13]
also you are not allowed to read from the torah
during services without a minyan

in the past few weeks
there have been several occasions
where I was the 10th man at services

so while
my spiritual questions remain
and I will stay on my course to unravel them

I would be remiss
to neglect my communal responsibilities
simply out of my own uncertainty

Comments

[erika]

That's very good of you.

[nandan.livejournal.com]

Man, you are a nice guy. I think I'd be running for the hills.

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

Good Boy. I look forward to any further insights?

[iamnight.livejournal.com]

I'll certainly be going back and reading the story behind this, when I get a chance, but... what led you to Nova Scotia, and is it permanent? Nova Scotia. No-vah Sco-shuh. This, like the east coast for me this time last year, is a place that exists in books and the sounds I make when I say it. It is a story people tell. But, now, perhaps, I'll be able to see it for something else. :)

That is very good of you to keep attending to fill the quorum. Perhaps that would have made my experience different. In this age, it's so easy to leave and come back, leave and come back, as the questions come and go - and with them the certainty. Some say the piety is in the practice, that the practice connects you back to the moments when you believe, carring you through those when you do not, that belief is not the most important thing. I honestly don't know. The best I can come up with is more questions to ask, and ultimately, that's all I ever have. So... it's cool that you're going, for the communal sake, and I wonder what may come of it? I look forward to reading more, as the time comes, and with it more revelations.

[lumiere.livejournal.com]

9 men and a torah scroll also count as a minyan...