(no subject)

[plural]

it is 3:05 am

I have not had a cigarette
for almost forty eight hours

I almost accepted one
from a little brunette
but decided not to

I really want a cigarette
I have always been more of a situational smoker
meaning that
my addiction has always been strongest
in that it was linked to activities

the worst nicotine fits
I will ever get is on ski lift chairs
because
as a child
I used to alway smoke
between runs
when I was a downhill racer

so now
every time I am on a lift chair
I must have a cigarette

tonight
I thought I would distract myself
with alcohol and women
and
during the process
of excessive drinking
and lavacious behaviour
it
actually did work

I didnt think about having a cigarette once

but now

with a naked woman
sleeping in my bed
and myself
mostly satiated
there
is
nothing I desire more
than
the satisfaction
of
a
cigarette

and
that simple satisfaction
I
shall continue
to
deny

myself

simply because
I am a difficult son of a bitch

and now
while my nerves are on edge
and
my skin seems to crawl
with desires repressed

I shall go to bed
and
wish all of you
a
good night

tomorrow
shall be another day
and
each day past
is
I suppose
a
good thing

Comments

[plural.livejournal.com]

I only wish
it
was disgusting to me
the
problem is
I like it

I think perhaps
what I need
is
someone like you
to
distract and convince me
that
it is not
in my best interest
to
go there

you know

instill motivation

or

something

*wicked grin*