Aphorisms of the Day

[plural]

Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapeños
- you never know what's going to burn your ass.

I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they
go flying by.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky
and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.. If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich!

Comments

[triscuits.livejournal.com]

Hahaha. Well, those made my wednesday. Especially the last one. Hee hee hee :P

[wickedwahine.livejournal.com]

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.. If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich!

Goodness, this is so true.

[princezna.livejournal.com]

true dat.

[amazonwoman.livejournal.com]

thanks for sharing those, they've made my day!

I especially like this one

Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos
- you never know what's going to burn your ass.

since I work in a mexican restaurant. heh.