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Mar. 20th, 2003 03:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pluralI just read this article by Dan Savage
in his weekly column "Savage Love"
Basically it discusses the conflict arising from different sexual needs/drives/fantasies in relationships
He responds to three letters
The first is from a guy whose girlfriend doesnt provide adequate sexual services, and who gets pissed off when he masturbates thereby meeting his own needs
The second is from a guy who has been married 17 years and gets almost no sex from his wife, so he started seeing prostitutes, his wife found out and the shit is hitting the fan
The third is from a girl who is "in love" with a guy who is not as sexually adventurous as she would like to be.
In each case he pretty much says demand that you get what you need either from them or someone else, or dump em
I tend to agree, although I think to a certain extent it is your own damn fault for not being clear on your expectations from the get go.
If I was going to marry a chick, she would damn well know up front that I expect regular marital relations to continue in a similar vein as the relationship has had.
Now I would not cheat under any circumstances, I would simply break up with/divorce them.
What obligations (specifically sexually, but not reserved to such) does a person have to maintain similar levels of service throughout a relationship?
If you have sex twice a day for two years before you get married and it drops to once a week, would that constitute a material breech of contract?
If your partner is unwilling to meet your sexual needs are you justified in stepping outside of the relationship?
[this pretty much only applies to marriage as I would find it ridiculous to stay in a non-binding relationship if you arent getting your needs met, sexual or otherwise]
in his weekly column "Savage Love"
Basically it discusses the conflict arising from different sexual needs/drives/fantasies in relationships
He responds to three letters
The first is from a guy whose girlfriend doesnt provide adequate sexual services, and who gets pissed off when he masturbates thereby meeting his own needs
The second is from a guy who has been married 17 years and gets almost no sex from his wife, so he started seeing prostitutes, his wife found out and the shit is hitting the fan
The third is from a girl who is "in love" with a guy who is not as sexually adventurous as she would like to be.
In each case he pretty much says demand that you get what you need either from them or someone else, or dump em
I tend to agree, although I think to a certain extent it is your own damn fault for not being clear on your expectations from the get go.
If I was going to marry a chick, she would damn well know up front that I expect regular marital relations to continue in a similar vein as the relationship has had.
Now I would not cheat under any circumstances, I would simply break up with/divorce them.
What obligations (specifically sexually, but not reserved to such) does a person have to maintain similar levels of service throughout a relationship?
If you have sex twice a day for two years before you get married and it drops to once a week, would that constitute a material breech of contract?
If your partner is unwilling to meet your sexual needs are you justified in stepping outside of the relationship?
[this pretty much only applies to marriage as I would find it ridiculous to stay in a non-binding relationship if you arent getting your needs met, sexual or otherwise]
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Date: 2003-03-20 01:26 pm (UTC)Case 1: Masturbate in the shower dude. (I would look to end the relationship not simply because of this but I got the feeling she has a co-dependent streak in her).
Case 2: Join the guy in case 1 and buy a Joan Osbourne CD.
Case 3: She needs to decide if his sexual modesty is going to be something she will be bothered by on an ongoing basis. If it is, she should hit the road. Been there, done that on this one.
I've said it before.....there is much more to a successful marriage and relationship than sex.