Public Service Announcement

[plural]

Guys,

I am really tired of hearing my female friends bitch

and guess what
it is all your fault

why?

cause you don't eat enough pussy

it just stick, pump and roll
what the hell is up with that?

and you wonder why she is all grumpy
yall roll in the hay for 3.6 seconds
she barely gets primed before you leave her sticky and frustrated

look at it from another perspective

imagine you are having sex
you get about a third of the way to shangri-la
then someone sprays a bunch of goo on your face
and leaves you to jerk off in the other room

that would piss you off wouldn't it?

I could go on about proper sexual techniques for pleasing women,
for example the astonishing concept that you might touch any part of her body that isn't covered by her underwear
but that is probably too advanced for you
so
let me leave you with this simple advice
before you go plugging away
stick you head between her legs
waggle your tongue around there
as if you were cleaning spilt beer off a table
see what makes her go "OHHHH" and repeat that until she yanks you up to fuck her
[sorry ladies for the less than glamorous portrayal but I am trying to make sure they get the idea]

it is really that simple
repeat the process once a day
and I can damn near guarantee you
your girlfriend wont bitch when you forget to do the dishes
so that you can watch the ball game.
not to mention her friends will probably laugh in your general direction a whole lot less

and since I have gotten my good deed for the year out of the way
I am gonna head out
I have a date tonight and am looking forward to showing her
what I can do with two hands
[yep the arm is finally out of the sling - yeah baby]

Comments

[budhaboy.livejournal.com]

You forgot to mention that she may bite your tongue off with the extra set of teeth she's got hidden down there.