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pluralwell someone had to ask the question
so
I have decided to give it a go
what question
well it refers to expensive addictions
Patrick was curious "if broads were my most expensive addiction"
I am sure that they are
but to what degree I wondered
so I took the following information
I have been dating steadily
for twelve years
I figure that the average date costs around $100
dinner, drinks, entertainment, etc
next I needed to figure out how often
I went on dates
I decided on an average of twice per week
even though it is probably on the low side
considering I tend to go out more frequently
when I am in a relationship
[and I am frequently in relationships]
next figure in gifts
when I am in a more serious relationship
my gifts tend to be extravagant and randomly given
when I am just dating someone
they tend to be more along the casual lines
and appropriate for the situation
[i.e. I do not overdo it for chicks I hardly know]
I am going to figure gifts at
roughly $200 per month
between knick knacks
and formal gowns I think it will hold up
and lastly trips and romantic type getaways
obviously reserved for serious relationships
so let put the figure at $2000 per year
which will accommodate my early years of dating
where such thing were less common
and my later years where shopping trips to New York
were more common
what does this all add up to?
The cost of dating: $124,800
[probably low considering my tastes]
[but I do not want to get more detailed]
Gifts: $28,800
[this is entirely too low, I can account for more than that]
[with just a cursory glance at a few past relationships]
[but seeing as I can not determine a better way to figure it]
[I will stick with this number]
Trips: $24,000
[same problem with this number]
[as with gifts]
for a rough total of: $177,600
or enough to buy a nice house
damn near anywhere
sounds expensive
but what are the alternatives?
Most of the costs of my relationships are a function of what I like to do,
rather than dating expensive women
I enjoy fine restaurants, operas and the like
in other words expensive hobbies
sure I could take a chick to a cheap restaurant
but then I would not enjoy the food
and that would be a waste of money
at least when I go to a nice restaurant I get my money's worth
the obvious option to dating is prostitution
[no celibacy is not an option]
not having patronized women of leisure in my life
I searched google for "escort services"
I checked out several sites
selected women of the caliber which I would date
the prices ranged between $200 and $1000 dollars for an hour
on the average I would say they were probably about $400
of course they all state that it is not for sex but come on
nobody's company is worth a grand an hour
and in my opinion neither is sex
[especially random sex with a stranger]
I can masturbate for free whenever I like
and picking up some hottie at a club
is not anything resembling difficult
but lets assume we replaced dating with escorts
and reapplied the same formula
in other words
twice a week for twelve years
would cost a total of $499,200
for 1248 orgasms
considering I have, on average,
had sex significantly more often than twice a week
and considering all the other benefits one receives from a relationship
it looks like I got quite a bargain
if we just count my five most serious relationships
the count would be approximately 1750 orgasms
if we excluded everything else
and took the position that I only had sex
in those five relationships
[and even my mother would not believe that]
that would mean overall my cost per orgasm
was $101
which means
that every time I have sex
I save $300 dollars
that rocks
it is good to be the king
*wicked grin*
so
I have decided to give it a go
what question
well it refers to expensive addictions
Patrick was curious "if broads were my most expensive addiction"
I am sure that they are
but to what degree I wondered
so I took the following information
I have been dating steadily
for twelve years
I figure that the average date costs around $100
dinner, drinks, entertainment, etc
next I needed to figure out how often
I went on dates
I decided on an average of twice per week
even though it is probably on the low side
considering I tend to go out more frequently
when I am in a relationship
[and I am frequently in relationships]
next figure in gifts
when I am in a more serious relationship
my gifts tend to be extravagant and randomly given
when I am just dating someone
they tend to be more along the casual lines
and appropriate for the situation
[i.e. I do not overdo it for chicks I hardly know]
I am going to figure gifts at
roughly $200 per month
between knick knacks
and formal gowns I think it will hold up
and lastly trips and romantic type getaways
obviously reserved for serious relationships
so let put the figure at $2000 per year
which will accommodate my early years of dating
where such thing were less common
and my later years where shopping trips to New York
were more common
what does this all add up to?
The cost of dating: $124,800
[probably low considering my tastes]
[but I do not want to get more detailed]
Gifts: $28,800
[this is entirely too low, I can account for more than that]
[with just a cursory glance at a few past relationships]
[but seeing as I can not determine a better way to figure it]
[I will stick with this number]
Trips: $24,000
[same problem with this number]
[as with gifts]
for a rough total of: $177,600
or enough to buy a nice house
damn near anywhere
sounds expensive
but what are the alternatives?
Most of the costs of my relationships are a function of what I like to do,
rather than dating expensive women
I enjoy fine restaurants, operas and the like
in other words expensive hobbies
sure I could take a chick to a cheap restaurant
but then I would not enjoy the food
and that would be a waste of money
at least when I go to a nice restaurant I get my money's worth
the obvious option to dating is prostitution
[no celibacy is not an option]
not having patronized women of leisure in my life
I searched google for "escort services"
I checked out several sites
selected women of the caliber which I would date
the prices ranged between $200 and $1000 dollars for an hour
on the average I would say they were probably about $400
of course they all state that it is not for sex but come on
nobody's company is worth a grand an hour
and in my opinion neither is sex
[especially random sex with a stranger]
I can masturbate for free whenever I like
and picking up some hottie at a club
is not anything resembling difficult
but lets assume we replaced dating with escorts
and reapplied the same formula
in other words
twice a week for twelve years
would cost a total of $499,200
for 1248 orgasms
considering I have, on average,
had sex significantly more often than twice a week
and considering all the other benefits one receives from a relationship
it looks like I got quite a bargain
if we just count my five most serious relationships
the count would be approximately 1750 orgasms
if we excluded everything else
and took the position that I only had sex
in those five relationships
[and even my mother would not believe that]
that would mean overall my cost per orgasm
was $101
which means
that every time I have sex
I save $300 dollars
that rocks
it is good to be the king
*wicked grin*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-10-28 09:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-28 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-28 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-29 07:09 pm (UTC)I am seriously considering
just calling the plumbers
to deal with her septic issues
rather than trying to fix it myself
I do not have the time, inclination
or tools to take on such a project myself
no subject
Date: 2002-10-28 07:29 pm (UTC)That is the most comical, arousing, interesting math equation I have ever seen!
:)
*grin*
Date: 2002-10-28 07:36 pm (UTC)*wink*
it is already done
Re: *grin*
Date: 2002-10-28 07:55 pm (UTC)Thanks hon!
Of course you will get all the credit...as you did with the quitting counter I ripped off from you :)
thanks :)
flattery will get you -everywhere- with me *wink*
Date: 2002-10-28 08:00 pm (UTC)and whatever few places
flattery wont get you
*mischevious grin*
oral sex definitely will
so you have all your bases covered
*snark*
Date: 2002-10-28 08:01 pm (UTC)when you realize
immediately after pressing post
that
something sounds far worse
than the mildly provocative innuendo
you intended it to be
*sigh*
it is good to be the king
Re: *snark*
Date: 2002-10-28 08:17 pm (UTC)Sorry for the double post I deleted one of them...LJ has been difficult for me to reply lately....
no subject
Date: 2002-10-28 08:23 pm (UTC)I do the same often
oral sex donations
will cover most anything
and most definately
any copyright infringements
although I hardly would consider
free advertising copyright infringement
no
wait
then would be no oral sex
so
let me rephrase
I am shocked that you would so gruesomely violate the sanctity of my copyrights,
why if I wasnt a complete pervert
and if you hadnt been so generous
with your donation of oral sex,
I would be outraged and probably be forced
to sue you in a most unpleasant manner
yeah
that sounds about right
*wink*
Re: *grin*
Date: 2002-10-28 08:14 pm (UTC)Perhaps I want my peice of this dating income you are talking about.
*wicked grin*
Date: 2002-10-28 08:28 pm (UTC)a woman with your
virtues
anything at all
Re: *wicked grin*
Date: 2002-10-28 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-28 08:35 pm (UTC)yes probably
even if I did not realize it
at the time
it is simply a turn of phrase
I use to refer to women
I find appealing in a variety of ways
and that particular aspect or virtue
is most definately
one I would find appealing
*wink*