odd ponderings part two

[plural]

strange thing happened the other day
my ex called me and wanted my opinion
about a job she was thinking about taking
whether it would be a good idea
could she be successful?
etc

my first thought was
"umm why the hell are you calling me? why don't you ask your boyfriend"
but I didn't say that
I took a moment
asked all the real life questions
gave her the best advice I could
on what warning signs to look for..
She is thinking about going into sales
high-end stuff, salary + commission
so I ran through the scenario
and told her to go for it...
she has nothing to lose
if it doesn't work out she can always go back to a job like her current one

then she asks me
if I can help her out with contacts, sales prospects
because I know a lot of wealthy people who might be interested in her product
I said I would see what I could do
but was rather appalled

maybe I am just off base in my thinking
but isn't that kind of a reach to ask your ex something like that?

I am a generous guy
often too generous
but I figure
what the point of what I have
if I cant help those I care for
even if we are going seperate ways
I didnt want to make her life
harder for her than it had to be..

I let her live with me rent free
for three months, to get herself together
which she didn't and ended up moving in with a guy
she had been on 4 dates with, but anyway
She was miserable at her job
so I called a friend made a recommendation
scheduled the damn interview even
all she had to do, was show up
appear somewhat professional and intelligent
and the job was her's
even made sure she they offered her a nice raise over her current salary...

I don't want to be her friend
though she really wants us too..
maybe I am schmuck for saying so
but we had stopped being friends
for sometime when she finally moved out
so I don't see the point of putting in the effort
to rebuild something that wasn't there anymore?

Comments

[hilarykay.livejournal.com]

You are a generous person.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.
Fine line between generous
and doormat.
Been there, done that,
and have the footprints
on my face to prove it ;)
You know what to do about her.
( when I am in your journal
I feel compelled
to break
up
my
lines
like
this
for some reason-hehe.
Don't have the hang of it yet!)

if it was me......

[debgirl001.livejournal.com]

i wouldn't do it. i hate the feeling that i'm enabling someone. she wants the job, she can do it on her own. plus, it might put you at a bad position with these "wealthy" people. if something goes bad and, let's face it, who do you want out of your life, your wealthy friends? or your exgirlfriend who's using you?

hrmm

[sickboy.livejournal.com]

I'm in the same boat. I've been in it for a long long time now. The only difference is that now I refuse to allow her back into my life. Every time I did it was because I didn't want to hurt her. I only wanted to make things easier for myself. I didn't want to be friends but thought to myself "if I really loved this girl wouldn't I want to help her out? Wouldn't I want her to have the best even if we can't be together?"
I don't know the circumstances so I can't really say for you what is best but I know that my ex treated me extremely poorly. I confused helping and being used.
Now she calls and when I think she is finished speaking if that is all. If it is I say good bye and I hang up the phone.
Even though we love people, we know that sometimes they are bad for us and we have to stay away. You are not responsible for her happiness. Sharing is great, save it for someone that truly deserves it.

Cheers amigo