birthdays and some such shit

[plural]

Well
since iamjosh brought it up
I suppose
I have to face it

it is that time of year again

Tomorrow
or
more accurately in 5 hours
I
turn the ancient age of 27

somebody buy me a cane
and
guide me to the social security office

granted for the most part
I am glad to be turning twenty seven
another three years
and
I win the bet

[there was a bet]
[that I would not live to see thirty]

of course
if I make my thirtieth birthday
I win the pool
if I dont I lose
cause
my wager was on croaking before twenty five
[its called hedging your bets]
[if I survive I win]
[if I died I win]
the bet
which was made by eight people
in
1990
consisted of each of us
contributing a hundred bucks
to a pool
and
then designating both the year
and method of my death
[the top two choices]
[were motorcycle accident]
[and emotionally disturbed female]
[not in that order]

of course
six of them have passed away
and the last
is hardly in any shape to recognize
the weather let alone
remember the bet
so
I could just swipe the cash
but
that would be all sorts of freaking wrong

I figure if I lose
I will have it donated to charity

I figure
for my birthday this year
I will play a game
of beat the bottle

this years contestant
a beatifully smooth
one point seven liter bottle
of delightfully aged bourbon

unless of course
someone else has a better idea
and
seeing as I dont know a soul in this burg
I do not see that as being likely

besides
I have never been a big fan of my birthday
they tend to suck
and to me be relatively irrelevant
I adore other peoples birthdays

to start with
my birthday coincides with the jewish holiday
of
yom kippur about once every five years

what this means
is that I can not
eat
drink
have sex
or anything else
which brings pleasure or focus
on the body

you are suppose to spend
those twenty six hours
reflecting and focusing on your soul

needless to say
this rather puts a damper on
the birthday celebrations

but regardless
I will scratch another marking
on my proverbial cell wall
and
think little more on it.

Comments

Re: thanks mon ami and....

[sickboy.livejournal.com]

hahaha, you punk! One day you'll be old like me... but alas... I'll be old like someone else so damnit
there's just no winning this is there?
Unless perhaps when you are 32 and I'm 36 for example and you have no hair left and I look like a 25 year old =P