Whose friends are these anyway?

[plural]

Ok today we are having a little fun at other peoples expense

what you might ask, makes this different than any other day?

ok, so not much

below are random quotations
taken completely out of context
which amused the hell out of me
or maybe just sort of amused me
[i am not telling]


After a long day of masturbation, I like to sit back and enjoy a glass of smooth, slightly effeminant, Mike's Hard Lemonade

are you a young priest who wants to be a milkman?

even if its all fried lard.

and masturbating for Mancow

It's gotta be so addictive, what with all the adorable little things popping out left and right...

my toilet will never look at me in the same way ever again


Why does the glue on envelopes taste sooooo bad?

when coupled with spicy guacamole-- it's not just tolerable

Speaking of strange undergarments

some of you girls better stick to the old-fashioned methods like taping a pillow to your ass


congratulations to anyone whose money was on Nikki the fish

So, uh, now I can call Sarah, and get myself off

Oh, dont worry, Lindsey, Im not gonna masturbate on yer couch

"Goddamn white folks," he yelled at me as the light changed and I drove away, still laughing uncontrollably. "This never gets them!"