Behold the power of the almighty words

no
this isn't a religious thing

so
yeah

Sam and I just talked
for about an hour and a half

it was a goodness

basically
she was being a bitch
[her words not mine]
and couldn't figure out why
so she wrapped herself up in thinking about it
because she didn't know how to explain it
and didn't share any of it with me

personally
I'd noticed that she was getting awfully snappy

anyway
as a result of a variety of stuff
that had been going on lately
some related specifically to that
some not

I had been feeling
a little estranged

but
like her
not sure how to explain it
not having thought it all through
I didn't share it with her

and now
having shared it
and heard her perspective
it feels much much better

on a side note

I realized something today

we are both pretty much used
to being the smartest person
in any group of people

and have picked up some bad habits because of it
such as explaining things which the other person already knows

Sam snarked at me today
not to treat her like she was stupid
I was like, I'm not treating you like you are stupid
after all one of the primary reasons I am dating you is because you are brilliant

that's when it hit me

I wasn't treating her like she was stupid
I was treating her like she was normal
which to a brilliant person feels exactly like being treated like a retard
as I well know because it is a particular annoyance of mine

anyway I shared this thought with her
and said that in my perspective this is something we are just going to have to learn to forgive
quite a bit while we get used to dating someone on the same intellectual level
because I know for myself it's a pretty ingrained habit
and a mostly well meaning one as the motivation behind it
is wanting to make sure I am not talking above someone
and that they aren't feeling left out of the loop

and while we were talking about this
something else occurred to me

the relationship we are having
is very likely going to be the most difficult relationship
either of us has ever had

you see
brilliant people
and I say that without a trace of my usual arrogance
are pretty much used to getting away with shit
when it comes to other people

You know those little pranks
it is fun to play on gullible children
like convincing them that it rains because god is crying
but it is probably something they did which made god cry

well
that's pretty much how it feels to be brilliant
only not just with kids

people generally do not question you
and when they do you can out argue them pretty easily
tie their little minds in little knots
so that they are running around chasing their tails
instead of actually understanding what is going on

it is a terribly bad habit
but so often seems so convenient
that it becomes all too easy a pattern to fall into

which is probably why
most of my really good friends
are the ones who can challenge me intellectually
because I actually enjoy the challenge of having to be right
rather than just bluster my way through with some bullshit

well
not only can we not pull that shit on each other
but
we get pretty annoyed when the other tries to

so
that means we actually have to do the relationship work
instead of just smoothing things over with pretty words
and complex thoughts

not to mention that
she can see right through
most of my little tricks to placate women

so yeah
I'm thinking this relationship is gonna be a bitch
and
that thought is pretty exciting

cause
as I've said before

The juice is worth the squeeze