Aphorisms of the Day

Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapeños
- you never know what's going to burn your ass.

I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they
go flying by.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky
and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.. If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich!

(no subject)

Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river
You can hear the boats go by
You can spend the night beside her
And you know that she's half crazy
But that's why you want to be there
And she feeds you tea and oranges
That come all the way from China
And just when you mean to tell her
That you have no love to give her
Then she gets you on her wavelength
And she lets the river answer
That you've always been her lover

And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For you've touched her perfect body with your mind.

And Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him
He said 'All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them'
But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body with his mind.

Now Suzanne takes your hand
And she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers
From Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror

And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she's touched your perfect body with her mind.

Leonard Cohen - "Suzanne"