(no subject)

A brief clarification in response to several of the comments made:

Lest I have given the wrong impression in my last post.

Marriage is absolutely not entirely about sex
However a marriage without sex, passion and other forms of physical intimacy is hardly a marriage

When I was sixteen, I was sneaking into a friends house late one evening, as we crept through the living room, we discovered his parents, half naked and making out like a pair of, well sixteen year olds, my friend was mortified at the sight, but to me it was different. When I have been married twenty years as they had, I want, need and will insist upon that level of passion, interest and love, I can not see accepting less, when I know such is possible.

I was lucky enough in my youth to find such a woman, to love her and more importantly for her to love me, I asked her to marry me after a relatively brief courtship, and she accepted. Unfortunately a short time later, she was taken from me in a boating accident.

For many years, I wandered from brief relationship to brief relationship, for the most part I would be so bored with a woman after a month or so that I lacked even the desire to fuck her. I thought on this and was worried, I could not settle for less than I had seen, but to that point had found nothing else which could even imitate it poorly, was I destined to be without such? Had I been given my chance at such love and had it taken from me?

Then a few years back, I dated a girl, for nearly three years we dated, and everyday we made love. After three years, I was still full of the same passion, lust and need for her that I felt on our first date, when I came home I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and devour her.

While that relationship did not last for a variety of reasons, the lesson I learned and more importantly the hope that it provides will remain with me always. I will never accept a passionless marriage, I insist upon passion whether physical, emotional or intellectual, I refuse to accept less than the most it can be.

another response to a comment which I thought Iwould share.

Obligations? Service? Are we talking about serfdom or a relationship?


What is a marriage or even a relationship for that matter but a contract of obligations and services?

In the case of a marriage, it is a written contract, but even the least serious of intimate relationships could be considered a verbal contract.

In its essence, in constructing a serious relationship or marriage both parties agree to make every effort to meet the physical, emotional and intellectual needs of the other.

Marriage is indeed, at least in my opinion, servitude, not to each other but to the relationship as a seperate entity, both parties agree to serve the relationship thus working towards a common good, even if at times it seems less than convenient.

There will always be a time, in any relationship, when you may feel less than perfectly loving adoration towards your partner, sometimes it may even border on disgust. If you fail to serve the relationship, even when upset with your partner, the relationship will wither, die and ultimately fail.