zen returning

I just spent
the last hour and a half
polishing bettie to a mirror shine

I find that it so very relaxing
and satisfying
and
very similar in many ways
to making love to a woman

there is the same attention to detail
those same loving caresses
slow migrating touches
a sensual connection
running my fingers along her body
reacquainting myself with every curve
hollow
and line

giving every inch of her
individual attention
until each and every part of her
shines and glows

you breathe life and vigor
back into a beautiful woman
taking away her stresses and worries
leaving her with just that glow
of health happiness and satisfaction
and your own satisfaction and joy
beams back at you in mirrored reflection
from every part of her being

with bettie
those stresses and worries
are grime, oil and dirt
and each loving touch
slowly wipes them away
leaving her glistening
until all I can see
is her vibrant colour
surrounding my own reflection

what we love
what we adore
reflects who we are

how we love
how we adore
is who we are

for me it is about attention to detail
when I love something
I must know everything
must feel everything
about them

simple sex is not enough
I want to map their bodies
with my fingers and toes
with my knees and elbows
with my lips and my tongue
so that
their image is permanently burned
into my mind in a way
that sight never could achieve

(no subject)

swiped from <lj user="marieofroumania"

(no subject)

I need to select
three photos to submit
to a local photography show

I have narrowed it down
to ten from which I will choose three
but
I figured I would see which yall
thought I should send in

( gimme your opinon )

If you want to see the original full size image
for any of them, you can just open the link in a new window
and change the "-vi.jpg" at the end of the filename to "-or.jpg"
alternately you can click here
and open them directly off the website

bemused

what if this was not a hypothetical question?

Birthdays

since I well
completely suck

and have been missing birthdays

I thought I would do another
drive by mass wishing

so here goes

Happy Freaking Birthday

mfluder
rosegris
litter
luv2ride
tragicallykel
saveyoursanity


Hope it is simply the Swellest

and
damn I miss
birthday reminders

*pout*

neilsen ratings

so
a guy calls me this morning

I answer the phone
knowing it is a telemarketer
cause well
it was the first call
I have gotten on the house line
and
even I do not know the number

but first calls being first calls
I had to answer it

he asked to speak to the lady or gentleman of the house

and first off let me say
who the hell cold calls at 7:30am
sure most people are either sleeping
or getting ready for work

of course
neither applies to me
so I really shouldnt bitch

I say that I am the man of the house
he introduces himself and proceeds
to ask me what type of televisions shows I watch
launching straight into the different catagories
which they use

he then asks

which of these would you say your family watches

I replied

I do not watch television

that really crippled his midget
after a moments pause
he asked if there was any shows
that I watched

what part of I do not watch television did he not understand
must have been the not part i suppose
anyway
I reiterated that I watch no television
and
he asked what the other members of my household watch

well it is just me and the cat
I replied
I think he likes news shows and soft core porn
I can ask him real quick
or if you like you can speak to him directly

umm
no sir that will not be necessary
thank you for your time and have a good day

they obviously havent connected me
with my old listing yet

the one that says call at your own peril

you see
I take a different approach to telemarketers
I love em
they amuse the hell out of me
but I still am not buying anything

I will talk to em
listen to their spiel
ask them questions
then say no
listen to all their rebuttals
ask them more questions
and then say no

you see
what telemarketers hate most
is a person who wastes their time
they want to know quick if they are going to sell you or not
for them it is a numbers game
if you are not going to buy
they got a list of a dozen other suckers who will

I suspect this is why
I never got telemarketing calls back home
I got on the real black list

of course occasionally I get witty
and just fuck with them

oh your a carpet cleaning service
thank god
I was wondering how I was going to clean up this mess
how good are you with blood stains?
excellent
can you come over right now
and just you
I dont want anyone else coming
can you do that?
no, well that doesnt work for me
I need you right now
there is blood all over the place


you see
you have to be creative in life
turn those annoyances into little flashes of joy