Ibiza by the numbers [the first 36 hours]

Environment:
1 swanky hotel room with balcony
1350 cubic feet of foam on dance floor
1 rooftop swimming pool
4 women bantering about said pool without tops
6 men watching said women bantering about without tops
[not including myself]
[while I noticed, and even perhaps appreciated said nudity]
[for the most part such things fail to excite me]
[sort of ruins the enjoyment of seeing a pair of naked breasts]
[but thats a long complex theory which I wont go into here]
1 day of amazing weather and warm sun
2 restaurants found with simple but excellent cuisine

Activities:
2 hours spent swimming laps
6 hours dancing at Amnesia
1 hour spent lifting weights
5 hours spent basking in the sun
1 hour spent working on the design for my next yacht
2 hours spent reading friends list
1.5 hours needed to respond to emails
4 hours sleep required to continue festivities
1 hour spent on phone with travel agent
1 hour spent writing postcards [if you want one email me your particulars]

Contaminates:
4 absinthe and champagne cocktails [thanks savonarola]
3 Havana club seven - cuba libres
6 shots of lousy tequila
4 packs of Davidoffs

Nutrition:
41 ounces of bourbon
1/4 Roast duck in Mango Sauce
2 grilled cheese sandwiches
104 pounds of nubile southern peach
1 serving of fresh ravoli in a basil pesto cream sauce
2 plates of assorted cheeses and fruits
7 litres of water

Results:

Ibiza scores a seven out of a possible ten
[however all judges agree this score is likely to improve]

( oh in other news )